Posts Tagged ‘Swing party’

An hour or so before we need to leave, I cry from the closet, “Honey, what are we going to wear?”

You can almost hear the eyes rolling in my husbands head.  “Whatever you want,” is the response I get on most days, which really doesn’t help me that much.  Without fail, the holy grail of outfits is either wet and still in the washer or dry, but lost somewhere in a pile of dirty clothes.

Now mind you, I am sure I make this a lot harder than it needs to be.  My husband and I are one of those “Matchy Matchy” couples.  We are our own accessories.  You will rarely see one of us in jeans and the other in dress pants.  We dress at the same level of formality and usually in the same color scheme.  We do have matching shirts and for the shirts that don’t match, my husband has ties that match my shirts. 

So why am I a mess?  With pregnancy and growing bellies comes a whole new outlook on wardrobing.  My wardrobe has also gotten much smaller in the past weeks.  I don’t fit in many of our matching outfits anymore.  Plus, different events call for different levels of formality in dressing.   You thought learning to dance was the hard part?  Finding the right outfit to wear to the dance is the next challenge.

As you enter the world of ballroom and swing dance, you will notice that not all events have the same level of formality or dress code.  Gala Balls have a different dress code than practice parties.  Theme parties and dances (WHICH I LOVE) require a little more thought and preparation than weeknight group classes.  Below is an excerpt from “Elements of Dance Etiquette” by Aria Nosratinia.   Aria has provided a wonderful guide to the various levels of formality that you find in the dance world.  Aria has also provided tips on dressing for comfort and safety… a must for all dancers

What to Wear?

Protocol:

The more formal the dance, the more formal the outfit. For example, if you are invited to a formal charity ball, anything less than a tuxedo for men or ball gown for women would be inappropriate. On the other hand, at a dance lesson at your local studio, there is usually no need to dress formally.

This is not as hard as it may seem; a little common sense goes a long way. Also, if in doubt, follow the crowd! See what others do and follow suit. If all else fails, you can always ask the dance organizers about the dress code.

Below I give a guideline and explanation for dress code, which you may see on invitations and announcements, as well as a general idea of what to wear at different dance venues.

• White tie: White tie is the most formal category of dressing. For the gentleman, it means a black tailcoat with matching trousers trimmed by ribbon of braid or satin on the outside of each trouser leg, a white pique’ tie, white pique’ single or double-breasted vest, and a wing-collar shirt with a stiff pique’ front. White gloves are nice optional accessories for gentlemen. The lady appears in a ball gown, which is an evening dress with a full skirt, possibly with open back and low neck line. Elbow-length gloves are a nice addition for the lady.
•  Black tie: Gentlemen in black tuxedo coat, trousers trimmed with satin ribbon along the outside of the legs, cummerband and bow tie. The phrase “black tie” does not refer to the color of the tie. In fact colorful ties (with matching cummerbands) are very popular. Ladies appear in ball gowns.
•  Black tie optional: Same as above, except gentlemen have the option of wearing a regular suit with a tie (bow tie preferred), and ladies wear a cocktail gown or dinner dress. Long to full-length skirts are preferred; short skirts are not recommended.
•  Formal: Gentlemen in suit and tie (nowadays a sport coat is often an acceptable replacement for a full suit), ladies in cocktail gown or evening dress.
•  Semi-formal: Gentlemen in dress slacks with dress shirt and tie, jacket is optional. Other options include a vest or a sweater that shows the tie. At the lower end of formality, these events can be attended without a tie, e.g. with a turtleneck and jacket. Ladies in evening dress or dinner dress, but other chic outfits are also acceptable (like flowing pants, etc.)
•  Dressy Casual: Applies to most practice dances, workshops, and dance lessons. Gentlemen can wear coton slacks with solid color T-shirt, turtleneck, mock turtleneck, or polo shirt. Ladies have a much wider set of clothing options. Use your imagination and sense of fashion. In general this is a conservative and toned-down appearance that has grown increasingly popular on the dance floors. Don’t forget your dance shoes!
•  Country/Western: Country western attire has variations across the country, but generally it is acceptable to go in blue or black jeans (not stone-washed) and cowboy boots. Make sure that the boots will not mark the dance floor. If you wear a hat, it may be a good idea to take it off when going on the floor. Note that country western folks can be very sensitive about their hats. It is improper to touch or otherwise handle someone’s hat, even if it sits on a table. For a lady to pick up and put on a gentleman’s hat is considered very flirtatious.
•  Milongas: (Argentine Tango) For both ladies and gentlemen, black or dark themes are preferred.
•  Latin: This refers to venues that specialize in Salsa, Merengue, Cumbia, etc. For gentlemen, any button-up shirt, solid T-shirt or mock turtleneck, dress slacks, and dance shoes. Jackets are nice, but a vest can be even more stylish. Unlike most other dance venues, bright and colorful outfits for gentlemen are acceptable, although dark themes are more common. Ladies can (and often do) wear sexy outfits: both short skirts and longer slit skirts are popular. Low necklines and exposed midriffs are not uncommon.
•  Swing: There are no strict rules for swing outfits. Both the Gentleman and the Lady wear outfits that are reasonably neat and chic, although often not very formal. Many types of swing are fast-paced and athletic, so wearing suitable clothing is essential. For example, the Lady would be well advised to stay away from short, tight skirts. See also the next section on Comfort and Safety. A cute trend, especially in Lindy Hop circles, is to wear vintage outfits from the 1930’s and 40’s. But this is not done everywhere and is not at all a requirement.

Comfort and safety:

Wear clothing that makes it easy and enjoyable to dance, both for yourself and your partner.

• Regardless of how informal the dance is, always wear dance shoes. Do not wear sneakers or other shoes with rubber or spongy soles. They can stick to the floor during turns and spins and cause ankle and knee injuries.
•  Avoid sleeveless shirts and strapped dresses, especially for active dancing: It is not pleasant to have to touch the damp skin of a partner.
•  Sleeves that are baggy or cut low in the armpit are not a good idea, especially in Latin and swing dancing, because dancers need access to partner’s back, and hands may get caught in baggy sleeves.
•  Accessories like big rings, watches, brooches, loose/long necklaces, and big belt buckles can be dangerous. They can catch in partner’s clothing, scratch and bruise.
•  Gentlemen: if you have no place to leave your keys and loose change, carry them in the *left* pocket of your trousers. This makes it less likely to bruise your partner.
•  Long hair should be put up or tied in a pony tail. It is difficult to get into closed dance position when the lady has long flowing hair (hair gets caught in gentleman’s right hand). It is also not fun to be hit in the face with flying hair during turns and spins. “

Excerpt from ”Elements of Dance Etiquette” byAria Nosratinia
http://www.utdallas.edu/~aria/dance/etiquette.html#Groom 

The Excuse to get Dressed-Up

Many times, people learn to dance so they have an excuse to get dressed-up and get out of the house.  Whether it is “date night” for a couple, a way to meet local single people in your community, or just an excuse to wear fabulous clothes, learning to dance can open all kinds of social doors as well as wardrobe and closet doors for you too. 

I know there are people out there that just don’t want to get dressed up.  They are content to wear sweat pants, dirty jeans, track suits, or yoga wear 24/7.  Many use the lack of clothing in their closets as a reason not to take dance classes or learn how to dance.  Just because everyone is wearing a ballgown in the movies, doesn’t mean everyone wears a ballgown to the Friday night dance.  Expensive costumes are not required to enjoy yourself out on the dance floor.

With ZeDiamond Dance Method, you don’t need to worry about what you are going to wear.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing 2 DVD set, you will be learning to swing dance in the privacy of your own home.  You can wear what ever you feel most comfortable in.  Socks, Pajamas, ratty old chinos, and denim shirts are perfect for learning how to swing dance at home.  Once you gain confidence in you new found dance skills, you may feel more comfortable getting a little spruced up and going out to a swing party or ballroom dance.

Click here to watch a video clip from ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.  The students in the class are college kids and are dressed as such.  Do you think they are going to let a little thing like clothing come between them and good time out swing dancing with friends?  I think not.  You should not either.

So ignore the wet and dirty clothing, like I have.  Find a clean pair of black pants, a bright colored shirt and go out and have a great time.  Even though I learned to ballroom dance just so I had an excuse to wear a ballgown, I am lucky if I wear my ballgown twice a year.  But my black swing pants have taken me everywhere else I have wanted to go dancing in Asheville, NC and all over the country. 

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

I’m not sure you have noticed… but I’m a pregnant swing dancer.

Currently, I am 20-something weeks along and still dancing up a storm.  Well, I’m dancing up as big a storm as my dance partners will allow.  As my belly has gotten bigger, my ballroom dance connection improved for awhile.  The curve of my belly fit the curve of my husband’s belly nicely.  But now, the belly is starting to make Tango a little more interesting.   Luckily, I am a swing dancer and the versatility (and distance) of open dance position keeps me smiling and in my favorite dance shoes rather than on the sidelines of the dance floor.

I have been told that “Baby Barnes” is going to come out spoiled.  Baby Barnes will have spent 9 months in the womb being rocked for hours by all the East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing and Hustle dancing I do.  After being born, the baby will still want to be rocked (or Swing) for hours on end.

I have noticed that the baby tends to wiggle and kick when I am still.  Right now, I’m getting kicked because I’m sitting very still while writing this blog.  But get me to the ballroom or dance studio and the kicking stops soon after my first dance.  The swing dance steps and the movement of my body rocks the baby to sleep while I am working up a sweat to some very loud music.

This got me thinking about dancing with babies.  I found this article and thought I would share it with you.  Susan Peach has over 20 years experience as a Latin dance and fitness instructor. She is also the creator of Mambo Moms, a fun and gentle Latin dance based fitness program that helps new moms get back in shape while spending quality play time with their babies.  http://www.mambomoms.com

Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

by PregnancyAdmin on May 5, 2009

“Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

Every parent knows the calming effects on their baby of rocking and gentle motion. After all, who among us has not paced the floor at 2 am trying to entice a little one back to sleep by rocking, bouncing or swaying?

I want to continue our discussion on personal improvement.  We all now know why our shoes stink.  But there are other concerns that still keep us socially awkward at swing parties and ballroom dances.

You know me, I’m a stickler for dance etiquette.  I don’t need to be the best East Coast Swing dancer in the room.  But when I dance with someone, I do have a goal.  It’s not to out dance my partner or show everyone how cool I am.  My goal is for my partner to end the dance with a smile on their face and thinking, “I really enjoyed that.  Swing dancing with her is fun.”  Mind you,  I have the same expectation for my dance partner.  I want to end the dance smiling after enjoying dancing with them too.

But every so often, you dance with a “Sketchy Guy” or a “Sketchy Girl”.  After dancing with a sketchy dancer, it can be very hard to walk away with a smile on your face.  Many times, it is hard to enjoy dancing with a sketchy dancer.

 We have all been guilty of the behaviors bellow.  We have all done things that can be thought of as “sketchy”.  But what we need to do, is recognize our sketchiness, laugh at it, learn from it and then stop doing it.  Nobody wants to be described as “You know, that sketchy swing dancer, over there.”

Please enjoy the musings of Richard Powers.  Richard has been teaching contemporary and historic social dance for over thirty years.  He leads workshops around the world and is currently a full-time instructor at Stanford University’s Dance Division.

“This is a touchy topic because I don’t want to speak dismissively of anyone who loves to dance.  However it’s an important topic to many women who complain about “sketchy guys” at dances, so that makes it worth discussing.

What is a sketchy guy?

“OK, that’s a sexist term.  So let’s say that any woman who acts this way is a “sketchy girl.”  But somehow we see more males than females behaving this way on the dance floor.

A sketchy guy is…

1) Any man who is physically rough with his partner, who hauls his partner though steps and figures.

As you already know… a good lead knows and cares what is comfortable for his partner.  He cares what is pleasurable or fun for her, as opposed to just showing off, or using her as an accessory to his ego.

A considerate man dances for his partner’s ability and comfort; sketchy guys don’t.

A good lead clearly suggests an option, which is different from controlling her.  He proposes, not prescribes, a certain way of moving to his partner.  If his partner does not go with his proposal (does not ‘follow’), he adapts to her motion instead of exerting more power to press her to accept the proposal.

But guys, don’t be so afraid of seeming sketchy that your leads become wimpy.  Leads are physical, and your partner depends on clear leads.  If the physicality of the lead/follow connection is on a scale of one-to-ten, avoid 0 and 1 (wimpy); avoid 9 and 10 (physically rough).

2) A man who corrects his partner.

Have you ever danced with one of these guys?  Often the first thing he does when he begins a dance is correct his partner!  “You’re doing it wrong. You have to do it this way.”  Yikes!

The clear message to most women is that he’s doing this to exert absolute control at the beginning of their dance.  It’s his way of establishing dominance, saying in effect, “This is NOT a conversation and you don’t have a voice when dancing with me, so shut up and do as you’re told.”

To be fair, this may not be his actual intent.  Maybe his teacher gave him the misguided impression that he should correct his partners if they dance differently from the Only One Way he knows.  But regardless of his intent, a correcting attitude feels disrespectful to her, so men be forwarned that she may not want to dance with you again.

A correcting attitude is usually either  (A) antisocially pedantic  or  (B) it demonstrates his inexperience, showing her that he only knows one way to dance (or only one style, or one kind of dance hold/frame).  If he thinks, “Oh I know other ways, but I think they’re all wrong,” then he’s the first version, antisocially pedantic.

An only-one-way attitude is also unrealistic.  How can anyone not understand that dancers come in different shapes, sizes and experience?  Each partner has had different teachers.  Or maybe they just picked up dancing on the fly, by diving in and seeing what works.  Different doesn’t mean wrong.  When someone has a different style from your own, try to find ways to make dancing functional, fun and social.

Women aren’t exempt from this consideration.  When a woman exhibits a correcting attitude, it’s just as bad as when a man does it.

Exceptions:  Correcting is okay of it’s to let one’s partner know if they’re hurting you, “driving dangerously” on the dance floor, or if your partner actually asks you for advice or feedback.  Some dancers do request feedback and help from their partners, so if your partner requests feedback, then yes, it’s fine and even appreciated.

3) A man who tries to pick up a woman on the dance floor.

It’s smart to assume that women come to a dance to dance, not to find a date.  If there’s an exception, she’ll find a way to let you know, but the default assumption is that she came to have fun dancing. 

    a) Don’t ask her for a date (unless she initiates or hints at it).
    b) Don’t ask the same woman for several dances unless she lets you know she wants more dances with you.
    c) If she says no to a dance, then no means no.  Period.  Don’t pester her.

Some scenes may be exceptions to this.  Some salseros have told me that their salsa club is essentially a pick-up club, and that everyone going there knows this.  OK, if that’s the understanding at a dance, fine.  But the inviolable part of this section is: if she says no, respect her wishes and don’t pester her.

4) Stinky guys (and women).

It’s amazing that some people haven’t learned the essential social skill of hygiene.  Always shower, brush your teeth, floss and use deodorant before going out dancing, including to dance classes.  And if you tend to get really sweaty, you get huge bonus points for bringing a second dry shirt to change into halfway through the dance.

Women, please don’t wear perfumes (or colognes for men) to a social dance.  Most people don’t consider it very sociable, and some have allergies to fragrances.

“Sketchy” isn’t a textbook definition, so opinions about the term vary.  Some people consider stinky dancers sketchy, while others say, “No, it’s not sketchy, it’s just disgusting.”  OK, but either way it’s not a good thing.

Who isn’t a sketchy guy?

1) My pet peeve is a few undergrad students who call a grad student “sketchy” simply because he’s a few years older.  No, being a different age doesn’t make someone sketchy, especially if he’s a good dancer and an attentive, respectful partner.

2) A man or woman with “emerging social skills” isn’t necessarily sketchy.  Everyone has to learn somewhere.  If you don’t know how to respond to someone’s social awkwardness, err on the side of patience and encouragement.  They will appreciate your kindness more than you realize!

Bottom line:

In an age of increasing divisiveness, we should try to be more tolerant and accepting of differences of any kind.  But roughness, disrespect and predatory behavior is sketchy, and isn’t welcome at a social dance.”

Excerpt from “Sketchy Guys” Musing by Richard Powers
http://socialdance.stanford.edu/syllabi/sketchy.htm

How to avoid being “Sketchy”

First, we must quickly define communication.  Communication isn’t just sending a message.  True communication happens when a message is sent, received, interpreted and responded to.  In order to communicate with someone, you must also be connected to them, otherwise, they never receive your message.  One can see how dancing is often the result of good communication between partners.  He communicates through his lead… she has to receive the message, interpret it and chooses how to respond. Then she sends her own communication back as following.  He receives the communication, interprets it, and adjusts his lead for the next communication… and the cycle repeats over and over until the song ends. 

Many times, sketchiness comes from a lack of communication.  Rough leads and rough follows may be the result of one-way communication.  Think of excessivly aggressive leading and back leading as shouting at a partner.  When was the last time you were shouted at and you enjoyed it?  Leaders and followers that are sketchy are shouting at their partners the entire dance.  Their message is ”I don’t trust you to know what you are doing,” or “I’m taking over from here!”  They have taken the away the two-way communication of a dance partnership and taken a lot of the joy out of dancing for themselves and their partners.

What can we do to communicate better?

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a unique was to learn and teach dance.  Lots of dancers worry about their feet, the counts of the music and being wrong or their partner being wrong.  Many dancers play the blame game with their partners and leave the dance floor feeling guilty.  ZeDiamond Dance Method takes that all away.  It is way to learn how to dance where making mistakes and falling out of time makes you a better dancer. 

Many dancers concentrate on learning steps and moves.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method, the focus is on feeling the rhythm of the music and connecting with your partner.  As your mind let’s go, your body relaxes and you start to dance without thinking.  You feel the dance.  You feel your partner.  And the steps just flow through you.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, you will learn to connect with your partner, communicate with your partner through leading and following and enjoy dancing with one another.  Click here to learn how ZeDiamond Dance Method is different from traditional ways of teaching swing dancing.

You will truly see how dancing is two-way communication between partner with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Start dancing now by ordering your own 2 DVD set of ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.

See you out on dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

What we love about East Coast Swing…

Once you start swing dancing, it’s hard to stop.  The people are friendly.  The music is lively.  Your partner sweeps you off your feet.  You are having a ball!  Click here to see how much fun East Coast Swing dancing can be.  You are tearing up the dance floor and working up a sweat as you dance the night away.

Many beginner dancers are surprised by how athletic a night of dancing can be.  Even if you dance along to an intructional DVD at home, like ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, your body will start to get warm and sweat.  Sweat is how your body cools down.  Sweat can be a hard thing to control out on the dance floor.  So let’s cover a few basics that will keep you out on the dance floor swing dancing all night long, while keeping you fresh as a flower.  Today’s focus will be stinky shoes.

Funky Feet

There are more sweat glands on your feet than anywhere else on your body.  These sweat glands kick in to action while we are dancing because they are trying to cool us down.  Normally the sweat would dry up, we would cool down and the bacteria on our skin would begin dying off.  Out on the dance floor, our swing shoes keep our feet moist and the bacteria keep partying.  In many cases, it is the bacteria that cause our feet and shoes to stink – not just the sweat on it’s own.

Why are my favorite swing shoes the stinkiest?

As much as I love to have new shoes… my favorites are always old shoes.  They are broken-in just right.  They have stretched to fit my foot perfectly.  I know just how much grip and slip to expect from the suede soles.  But these little shoes can clear a room in a heart beat if they aren’t taken care of.  Dance shoes stink because they have had many hours on the dance floor, collecting sweat and bacteria from feet.   After hours of dancing East Coast Swing, dance shoes are warm, wet and full of stinky bacteria.

Tips to De-Stink your dance shoes

• Air them out – It is very tempting to keep stinky shoes in a plastic bag to trap the smell.  You also trap in the bacteria and the warm and wet world they love to live in.  Once out of the range of the public nose, exposure to cool, dry air will help keep the life of bacteria down.  Porches, garages, basements and mud rooms are popular places for stinky shoes.  But keep them close to a de-humidifier or air purifier for best results.  Store dance shoes in a breathable cloth or mesh bags instead of plastic to help keep them dry.
• Wear 2 or 3 pairs of shoes - If you dance multiple days in a row, your shoes are not getting much of a chance to recover.  If your shoes do not completely dry between dance sessions, the bacteria is not dying off and will contiune to stink up your shoes.  Rotating shoes will give them more time to dry and more time for bacteria to die.  For a 2 shoe rotation think, “a pair to wear and a pair to rest.”  This gives your shoes atleast 24 hours to dry and recover.   If a full day is not enough, or you have a long day and night of dancing ahead of you, try a 3 shoe rotation.  “Wear a pair today, a fresh pair for tonight and a third pair to rest and be ready for tomorrow.”  
• Wear clean and dry socks – Wearing and changing socks is a quick and easy way to control the moisture on your feet and in your shoes.  Look for socks that wick moisture away from your feet or are made with cotton.  If you think you can smell your own shoes or you can feel that your feet are wet, a quick change of socks may keep the smell at bay.  In many cases, it is easier to wash sock than shoes.  Make sure you are always wearing a fresh and clean pair of socks… not a worn, damp or stinky pair of socks from the bottom of your shoe bag. 
• Foot powders, sprays and drops – If they work on your feet, they may work on your shoes too.  Spray or dust with powder before and after dancing.  This will help to control the moisture level and deoderize your shoes.  Tea tree oil drops will also help control fungus and bacterial growth as well as help shoes smell fresh. 
• Sneaker Balls and Dryer Sheets- These little guys are like “Stick Ups Air Fresheners” for shoes.  For about $5, you get 2 Sneaker Balls that fit easily inside your shoes, shoe bag or any other small space.  Though they don’t do anything to help dry out your shoes, Sneaker Balls will help to deoderize your stinky toe tappers once you take them off.  You can try making something similar at home.  Stuff the toe of an old sock or knee high with baking soda and add a few drops of tee tree oil.  Tie off the toe of the sock to make a ball and trim off the rest of the sock.  The baking soda will help to absorb odors and the tee tree oil keeps things smelling fresh.  Slipping a fresh dryer sheet inside your shoes may also help to deodorize them when you are not wearing them.

What can I do at home?

Many people practice dancing at home.  My husband and I can be found dancing in our kitchen from time to time.  But rather than busting out the stinky dance shoes, we have more of a sock-hop approach to dancing at home.  Keeping your feet out of your shoes will also help with the smell.  Walking around barefoot helps to keep you feet cool and dry.  It also limits the bacteria growth.  Less bacteria = less stink.

When learning to dance at home, you have the opportunity to review your technique and improve your skills.  Some like to follow along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is a 2 DVD set that breaks down the basics of East Coast Swing dancing in a unique way.  Dancing along with a partner, practicing ZeDiamond Dance Method, will not only help reinforce fundamentals of East Coast Swing dancing, but you will be improving your conection skills with your partner and feeling the rhythm of the music at the same time.  Click here to learn more about ZeDiamond Dance Method and its unique way of teaching dance.

On a night when you want to dance, but there is no ballroom dance or swing party to go to, slip in your ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD and sock-hop or barefoot dance in the comfort of your own home.  Near the end of the DVD 2, there is practice music you can dance along with at home.  Leave the stinky shoes to air-out another night.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

THE STAG LINE – Where the unattached cowboys hang out together talking, planning and spinning yarn.

“The stag line hangs out by the pool tables, the popcorn machine or the video games.  The stags tote long-necked beer bottles, lean against the posts, check out the ladies and pump up their courage to actually ask someone to dance.  These cowboys equate to bachelor moose in the forest who have yet to acquire a harem.

Types commonly found on the stag line include:

• Championship Dancers - Could have won every dance contest they ever saw; planning to enter one soon.
• Don Juans - Profess to have choice of any lady in the place; know (in a Biblical sense) or know someone who has been romantically involved with anyone you point out; waiting for the “right” lady to ask out; then waiting some more.
• Great Debaters – Will argue any side of any topic; can deliver colorful, impassioned and nearly-informed oration on important matters.
• Heavyweight Champs – Weigh over 250 pounds; sincerely pledge to defend anyone whose person or honor is in jeopardy; get wet eyes from even minor expressions of gratitude; fond of calling people, “little buddy”.
• Major Leaguers – Recount sports trivia expertly; willingly review their own heroic athletic achievements; can explain precisely how to pitch no-hitters, bowl 300 games and catch fifteen pound bass; considering the Iron Man competition.
• Millionaires-In-Training - Buy drinks for buddies until the bartender delivers a pot of coffee; listen to Zig Zigler tapes; have inside tips and hot ideas; work in insurance or investment sales; will be wealthy as soon as commissions multiply.
• Race Car Drivers - Relate exciting automotive exploits; have many tickets; insurance premiums reflect their prowess; do their own mechanical work; drive Camaros with primer spots, which means any Camaro, rather than pick-up trucks.
• SBDs (Silent But Deadly) - Can flatulate on cue, with or without the finger pull; able to control smell, sound and direction, they say; journeymen can toot a reasonable facsimile of “Three Blind Mice”.

Excerpt form “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette” by Paul McClure

Why is the Stag Line important?

To be honest, that all depends on you.  If you are looking for conversation about topics other than dancing, cruising the room for your next date, or you want to try to talk someone else into buying you a drink from the bar… then the stag line is for you.  The stag line is a collection of people who enjoy the atmosphere of the dance hall, but have other social agendas – a.k.a. not there to dance.  Many of the people on the stag line have never tried to learn how to dance or have only tried briefly and had a bad experience so they quit trying to learn. 

If you have come to the dance to DANCE, then you may wish to avoid the stag line.  The stag line may offer much entertainment to you if you are taking a break to rest your feet, but no amount attention you pay them will move them closer to the dance floor.

What’s a girl to do if her partner is really on the Stag Line?

Well, part of what keeps people on the stag line is fear… fear of the unknown, fear of trying something new, fear of failure and fear of looking unattractive in front of other people.  You may have noticed that many on the stag line consider themselves “experts” in their field.  They want to be the best at something – sports trivia, reckless driving, business, or just want to be the smartest person in the room.  Well, having to admit that you do not know how to dance and going through the growing pains of beginner dancers may just be too much for their egos to handle.

If someone on the stag line is ever going to make the transition to the dance floor, they will do it only if they feel that they are in a comfortable and no-threatening place.  The ballroom party, swing dance or night club may not be the best place to get started.  Learning to dance at home may be a more suitable venue to try out those first few dance steps.

A new and innovative way to learn to dance is with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing two DVD set.  This DVD set lays all the basics for learning to swing dance in the comfort of your own living room, kitchen or den.  This is great for the person who is too shy to learn to dance in front of other people.  You can even close your blinds and curtains so you neighbors don’t even see you dancing for the first time.

ZeDiamond Dance Method is also great for someone who has tried to learn to dance in the past, but gave up because they became frustrated.  The DVD’s  make it easy to learn to East Coast Swing Dance, because you can rewind them as many times as you like, play them as often as you need to and review what you have learned just before heading out the door to the next dance party. 

East Coast Swing is a great first dance to learn.  Swing is a very universally known dance and danced many places – country bars, ballroom dances, swing parties and night clubs all play music that is approprate for East Coast Swing dancing.  Once you have this dance under your belt, you will have many opportunities to show off your new found dance skills.

I hope to see you off the stag line and out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

When you just can’t dance one more…

I’ve been there.  I’ve been the person hiding in the back, strangely hoping and not hoping someone asks me to dance.  I’ve been too out of breath to speak, let alone dance another one.  I’ve been stepped on, had my arm wrenched, been hit by random free arms and I am now limping my way off the dance floor… just to meet the hopeful expression of a gentleman asking me, “Want-to?”

Declining a dance request is far more than, “just say no.”  You might be tired, hurt, thirsty or just not have another East Coast Swing left in you… But if all you say to the polite request to dance is, “No,” then you suddenly have a bigger problem than just sore toes.  Proper dance etiquette can help you politely decline a dance, while helping you keep or improve your chances for future dances.

Here is Paul McClure to help guide us through what could be a sticky situation at ballroom, swing or nightclub dance.

Declining A Dance

“When asked to dance, good manners dictate you say, “Yes,” at least once, unless the requesting party has overwhelming social disabilities.  Nothing shows class like a gracious acceptance of a dance from someone who may not appear to be exactly God’s gift.  Others notice.

However, if someone asks you to dance and you choose to decline, then do so without actually saying the word, “No,” and explain why you passed up the offer.  Suggestions include:

• “Let me sit this one out to catch my breath.”
• “Give me a few more dances to get up my courage.”
• “I haven’t learned that dance yet; how about a Rain Check till next time?”
• “I want to stay on the sidelines in hopes that Billy Bob will ask me to dance.”
• “I just told Billy Bob,’No,’ so I need to sit out a couple dances in order not to hurt his feelings.”

Also, when you decline a dance offer, introduce yourself and engage the petitioner in conversation for a short while so it won’t be evident to everybody in the room that you refused to dance.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

Now that I have said, “No,” now what?

This is a rule of etiquette that I feel very strongly about.

Once you have turned down a dance request, you may not accept another until the current song has ended and a new song has started! 

I know what you are thinking… “But I want to dance to this song, just not with this person.  I would rather take the chance that someone better comes along and asks me.”  Well, you can do that, if you want to be known as a “dance snob.”  Though it may be fun to toy with the idea of, “I only dance with certain people,” it will quickly leave you few and far between in the partner department. 

Typically, the most popular dancers at the party are the ones who dance with the widest variety of partners.  People notice who you dance with and who you turn down. 

If there is an honest desire to dance a particular dance or song with a certain someone, ask them for that dance early, before the song is even played.  Later, when Bubba asks you to dance to your favorite swing song, you can politely say, “I’m sorry Bubba, Billy Bob already promised me this dance.  But please ask me again later.  I do want to dance with you tonight.”  Then you can run to Billy Bob guilt free (provided Billy Bob remembered that this is your song) and Bubba is not crushed.  In fact, Bubba is hunting for a new partner, and still looking forward to dancing with you down the road. 

This rule is so universal, I have been made aware of it in my travels, not just in Asheville, NC.  I have walked over to a person in the middle of a song and started chatting with them.  Then they tell me, “I would really love to dance with you, but I have already turned someone down for this song.  Can I have the next Swing with you?”  I just think to myself, “Score! One point to the polite dancer at my side.”  But I always answer, “Yes!”

But I don’t feel comfortable dancing yet…

Never fear, in time you will become more at ease on the dance floor.  Practicing at home with ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD’s will help you on your way to becoming a more confident and accomplished dancer.  It’s simple. Start with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing and soon you will be ready to learn how to dance other dances.

ZeDiamond Dance Method was designed not only to help you learn how to East Coast Swing, but to help you feel the rhythm of the music and connect with your dance partners.  With a little practice, you will be enjoying the music and your partner and not worrying about your feet.  Click here to watch a short video about ZeDiamond Dance Method

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

The hunt is on!  We’re hunting for dance partners…

It is time, once again to talk dance etiquette.  Just learning how to dance lots of steps or having tons of swing dance moves isn’t enought to keep you swing dancing all night.  There is more to having lots of dance partners than just being the best east coast swing dancer in the room.  There is a proper way to ask someone for a dance, to decline and to accept a dance.  But we don’t need to worry about those things quite yet.  Because first we need to find someone we feel open to dancing with and hope they are open to dancing with us. 

Paul McClure is here to give us advise on scouting for dance partners.  The following is from his book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”.  I know that it is written from a country dance hall perspective, but it holds true at swing parties, ballroom dances and at a nightclub dance as well.

Scouting

“When you’re ready to ask someone to dance, look for prospects flashing Wanna Dance Signals. Some are intentional and some are inadvertent, but all indicate readiness to dance.

HIS WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Taking the free dance lesson
2. Removing hat, slicking down hair, putting hat back on
3. Spitting out tobacco plug
4. Munching popcorn in time to music
5. Popping Tic Tacs
6. Persuading friends to bet him that he won’t ask anybody to dance

 HER WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Vigorous line dancing
2. Wearing shoes with straps or real western boots
3. Standing at an entry point to the dance floor
4. Sitting on an aisle stool or some other accessible place
5. Making eye contacting and smiling
6. Breathing

Look to those who are flashy, trashy or drunk for after-hours amusement, not dancing.  For dance partners, find people with open, sunny faces who smile a lot when they dance.  Drawing most attention are those who either dance with a variety of partners – probably the regulars – or ones who line dance enthusiastically – probably the newcomers.  Looking sad, preoccupied or desperate discourages others from attempting to penetrate your cloud.

Women can ask men to dance at a country dance hall.  Therefore, each individual chooses for himself or herself whether to watch or dance.  Cowboys relish both the notion that they might get asked to dance and the idea that the ladies can appreciate the courage it takes to ask.

If you wish to state your availability to dance, then ask an old coot to dance.  It will show you off to great advantage.  Plus, older partners usually have more refined people skills and more dance-focused social agenda.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

I have seen the signs and I believe them to be true!

I have traveled all across this country and dance with people from every state and a few foreign countries too.  The Wanna Dance Signals are very universal.  They work just as well in Asheville, NC as they do Las Vegas, NV.  Ballroom dances, swing dances, night clubs and dance halls all have women and men who are there to dance… you just have to see the signals. 

Leaders, if she is breathing and at a dance, trust me, she is there to dance.  She really wants to dance if she sits near the edge of the dance floor or has learned to lead and is dancing with other women.  Even if all you know is how to East Coast Swing, an open partner will be happy to dance with you.

Too timid to consider dancing?

With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn at your own pace and where you feel most comfortable… at home in your kitchen or living room. Learn simple and easy East Coast Swing dance moves in your own home, before venturing out to a club, party, or dance.  Then you can take the free dance lesson at the ballroom dance or swing party with more confidence.  Once your confidence grows, you will be able to take what you have learned from ZeDiamond Dance Method and use it as a tool with while learning other dances.

If you ever find me at a dance in Asheville, NC or anywhere else in the world, please ask me to dance.  I promise I will say yes at least once.  Ballroom dance, swing dance, country western dance… it doesn’t matter – I”M HERE TO DANCE!   I WANNA DANCE!!! 

I look forward to seeing you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method