Posts Tagged ‘swing dancing’

Benefits of Learning to Ballroom and Swing Dance

Learning to dance can have a number of benefits for school age children and adults.  The benefits of learning how to dance reach far beyond just learning dance steps.  Benefits of dance include:

• Improve health through exercise, development of coordination, and increase muscle tone
• Decrease in anxiety, fear and stress by giving a physical outlet to release tension while generating good feelings by being with others
• Increase self-awareness, creativity, self-expression and new ways of thinking and doing
• Learn to work together with a partner to accomplish goals and achieve higher success
• Create powerful social and emotional bonds by moving students out of isolation and create a team environment where everyone is a key player
• Improve self-esteem, body image issues, depression, attentiveness, focus and communication skills
• Stay calm and grounded to better face life’s challenges

Life Lessons in Ballroom and Swing Dancing

I think there are many life lessons inadvertently taught while students are learning to dance.  Some are comical like:

• “Ladies start with the right foot because the lady is always right!’
• “Ballroom dancing’s line of dance is like NASCAR… Drive fast and turn left.”
• “He’s leading, so what ever happens is his fault.  Now that he knows that ladies, you don’t have to tell him.”
• “There are no mistakes… only variations.”

Others help you in social situations:

• “Guys, as long as she is still smiling, you are doing okay.”
• “It is better to make a decision and lead a mistake then make no decision and send mixed signals.  Nobody can follow mixed signals.”
• “Keep going!  As long as your feet keep moving, you are still dancing.  You don’t stop until the music does.”
• “Leading is the combination of inviting the lady to go somewhere and than getting out of her way so she can get there.”

But, I think Robert summed it up beautifully:

“Dancing is moving to the music without stepping on anyone’s toes, pretty much the same as life. ”

  ~Robert Brault 

At ZeDiamond Dance Method, we have a simple mission:

“We are a collection of Drummers, Dancers, Teachers and Cultural Creatives who inspire peace and joy while developing connection, groundedness and inner rhythms through the teachings of ZeDiamond Dance Method.”

We know there are great benefits to learning how to dance… other than learning how to dance and staying off your partner’s toes.  Dance has brought a richness and fullness to my life that I don’t think I would have found otherwise.  Every time I accept an invitation dance or help a student learning a new step, I know I am adding something to their lives too.   

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

What did you do last night?

When someone refers to the good time they had out on the dance floor, typically a story about swing dancing will follow.  The term “swing dance” can refer to any of 40 or more dances currently seen out on the dance floor today.  For those who do not dance, the term “swing dancing” may bring to mind images of Lindy Hop, Charleston, Jitterbug and the Boogie Woogie dancing they watched their parents or grandparents dance at weddings and family reunions. 

I went Swing Dancing!

Once exposed to the Swing Dance World, dancers learn that swing also includes, Carolina, Collegiate and St. Louis Shag, East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing, Hand Dancing, Jive, Bop and Balboa just to name a few.  Your local “Swing Scene” may have wide variety of dances offered or have more of a specialized community that focuses on only one or two swing dances.  The focus of this blog is that of East Coast Swing dancing and dancers. 

Granddaddy of Swing Dancing

In order to understand the current form of East Coast Swing, as it is danced today, you must understand its rich history and growth through time.  Lindy Hop came from Partnered Charleston.  Lindy Hop was developed and enjoyed in the late 1920s and early 1930s.  Traditionally, Lindy Hop had and an 8 count circular basic known as a “swing out”.  In time, Lindy Hop dancers were allowed to improvise dance moves and adapted dance steps and moves that included 8 count and 6 count patterns.  Through improvisation, variations in the dance were created and independently became quite popular. 

East Coast Swing gets its start

One of the popular and simple 6 count variations developed into its own dance, East Coast Swing.  In the 1940s, the East Coast Swing evolved with current swing band music and the help of Arthur Murray dance studios.  Arthur Murray dance studios helped to make ballroom dance lessons assessable to the masses.  Arthur Murray studios took East Coast Swing and standardized it to make it teachable and marketable to American dancers.  This paved they way for East Coast Swing to become a competitive ballroom dance and recognized by the National Dance Council of America.  Walk in to any ballroom dance studio today, and in an hour or two, you will dance out the door with single swing or single time swing, (a simplified version of East Coast Swing) and a little East Coast Swing (sometimes called triple swing or triple time swing).

ZeDiamond Dance Method helps new Swing Kids get started

 ZeDiamond Dance Method was developed by two dancers, Deborah-Marie Diamond and Zeki Maviyildiz from Asheville, NC, who were both originally taught to dance East Coast Swing  the way Arthur Murray dance studios have taught swing dancing for years. 

When she first started taking ballroom dance lessons, Deborah-Marie noticed that many of the beginner dancers were dancing off time or off rhythm to the music.  At first, Deborah-Marie dismissed her observation and thought that dancing off time to the music was just the result of being a beginner dancer.  After awhile, Deborah-Marie noticed that dancers who had danced three, four five years were still dancing off time and off rhythm.  This got Deborah-Marie thinking that there must be a better way to teach dance steps and rhythm to dance students.

The rest is history… or at least the history of ZeDiamond Dance Method.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Last night, my husband and I had dinner with my parents and handful of other local ballroom dancers.  My mother was telling the story of how she grew-up ballroom dancing and taught my sister and myself how to ballroom dance in the kitchen and living room while we were growing up.  I piped up that I had written a blog about learning to dance from Mom.  Others at the table chimed in that they enjoyed reading my blogs.  Then my dad looked at me and asked, “Have you blogged about me yet?”  Okay Dad, this one is about you.

Dads and Dancing - Do they mix?

Growing up, I only saw my father exhibit two styles of dancing, slow dancing and the Twist.  Both were usually done in the kitchen, while cooking with music on.  Mom was always there for the slow dance, but the Twist could happen at any time with anyone.  Up until 2007, that was the only dancing I ever saw come out of him. 

In 2007 some big changes happened.  My parents, my husband and I all moved to Asheville, NC.  For the first time since I moved away for college, I was living within a handful of miles from my parents.  Jason and I were also planning our wedding back in Minnesota.  A wedding full of dancing, thrown by swing and ballroom dancers and attended by lots and lots of swing and ballroom dancing friends and family.  Did I mention that there was going to be Swing and Ballroom dancing at the wedding?

The entire wedding reception was focused on dancing.  We rented Cinema Ballroom in Saint Paul to host the big reception swing dance party.  We served finger foods and mini desserts rather than a sit down dinner because we wanted more time for dancing.  But there was one little detail about the reception that was making me nervous… The Father/Daughter Dance.

As a rule, my dad did not dance outside of that kitchen.  I was even told by my mom that they almost didn’t go to Prom because my father disliked dancing that much.  What was I going to do?  I started pleading with my dad, “Just learn 3 little Waltz patterns.  That’s all I ask.  I just want to dance a simple Waltz with you at the wedding.”

Dance Lessons with Dad

Dad ordered an instructional ballroom dance DVD off the Internet and started working through it with Mom.  Mom was happy to be dancing again.  But the big test was learning how to dance with me.  After a few private dance lessons, I was very impressed with Dad and his new found dancing ability.  And the funny thing was, he was starting to enjoy dancing.  He enjoyed it so much, he learned more than just the 3 little Waltz patterns that I wanted him to learn.  That night, at the wedding reception dance, he and I waltzed all the way around the big floor.  It was just as I had dreamed.  He smiled his proud smile at me.  He turned me every time the song lyrics said “turn around”.  My mom cried a little.  It was perfect.  He was dancing with me and we were loving it.

Dancing for life

After the wedding, my parents started taking beginner group ballroom dance lessons.  And Dad loved it.  He took my mom out dancing.  They went to weekend ballroom dances.  Dad was officially wearing Mom out on the dance floor. 

“You have created a monster,” my mother told me one day.  “And the monster’s favorite dance is Cha Cha!”

Though things have slowed down for them, I think they are still dancing and enjoying each other.  Most of their dancing is in the kitchen and living room now… but it has evolved to higher level than the Twist.  By learning to dance, Dad made two women, who love him, very happy.  And he did not know he was going to like dancing so much!!!

Can your dad learn to dance?

You bet he can!!!  He can learn to dance with you, at home by dancing along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing can be your first dance lesson with Dad, right in the comfort of your own home. 

Do you live in the Asheville, NC area?  You, Dad and the entire wedding party can take dance lessons together at our Wedding Inspired Dance Lessons.  Come join us and other brides and grooms as we prepare you to dance beautifully on your wedding night, your honeymoon and the rest of your lives.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

There are numerous reasons why people learn to ballroom dance… 

Some are looking for low impact and fun exercise.  Others are looking for a creative outlet to express themselves.  And we can’t forget those who are at the dance lesson to hopefully meet someone, friendship or otherwise.  With whatever goal we have, as we walk into the ballroom dance lesson, we tend to fulfill it and get so much more.  Something happens to us during the dance lesson.  We do learn dance steps… We do learn dance rhythms… We do get to dance with lots of partners (if you rotate partners – and I think you should!)… But is something also changing inside of us?  Does learning to ballroom dance make you a better person? 

Over the years, I have met lots of people though ballroom and swing dancing.  I have watched them grow and change as they learn to dance.  Someone who was mild and meek can learn to embrace themselves and find self confidence that they did not know they had until they stepped out on the dance floor.  That self confidence grows from the dance and spills out into their daily life.  On the other hand, I have seen great egos tumble and fall in ballroom dance lessons to be replaced with a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate partners who have learned the lesson of cooperation and have given up the need to be “RIGHT” all the time.

Can Rhythm, Music and Dancing heal us?

This May, the 21st Annual International Trauma Conference, is featuring workshops on psychological trauma.  One of the workshops offered is titled “Rhythms and their role in Brain Development, Attachment, Companionship and Trauma.”  Here is the quick information on the workshop. 

“Rhythms and music inspire human beings to move and experience their world, their bodies, and one another. Both originate in brain structures and connections involved in moving and feeling, and they guide behavior with a goal-defining sense of purpose and creativity. Intelligent perception, learning, and a sense of sympathy and cooperation in meaning between humans depend on this spontaneous, self-regulating brain activity. Physical imitation, resonance, and mirroring form the foundations of human relatedness. Shared feelings of companionship determine how we acquire knowledge, skills, and the self-confidence to share them.

Disturbances of early communication interfere with the development of interpersonal intelligence, disturb the development of secure and affectionate relationships, and impair learning of cultural meaning, bringing shame. This workshop will explore the nature of these rhythmical and musical interactions, and how the re-establishment of one’s capacity for rhythmicity and musicality offers ways to re-establish a secure sense of self, recognition of others, and joyful appreciation.”

Ballroom and Swing Dancing must be therapeutic

Wow, rhythms and music can do all that!!!  I thought we were just learning dance steps in ballroom dance lessons.  Dance classes can teach us far more than just how to ballroom dance.

I do believe that learning to dance makes us better people.  We learn so much about ourselves and our partners out on the dance floor.  And it seems that we don’t even need to become great dancers to learn these lessons.  Just being in the space, taking the time to listen to the music, to feel the rhythms and then connect with someone else has a very therapeutic quality to it.  Ballroom dancing helps to heal us, balance us and gives us more benefits than we could ever hope for.

What do you say?  Want to take a turn around the dance floor with me?  We both will be better for it.

See you on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

Walk the walk… Talk the talk… Dance the dance…

There are many times that I see my life as a puzzlement.  I have been told for years that I am a walking contradiction.   

A friend in high school once told me that I act and talk in public they way everyone else acts and talks in private.  Basically, don’t take it when others are bending to society’s whims, they don’t have your guts to stand up to it.  I can be free as a bird and as creative and artistic as I dare to be… that’s why I ballroom and swing dance.

I enjoy structure.  I like rules.  I like to follow them, depend on them and understand them (even if it is just to work around them).  I like to know that there is right and wrong, action and reaction, consequences for behaviors and rewards for hitting goals.  There is nothing I love more than a good plan… that’s why I ballroom and swing dance.

Do you see the dilemma?  I often wonder if  I am a creative who learned to thrive in world of structure, or am I highly structured and learned to survive in a highly creative world?  The battle of Left Brain vs. Right Brain rages on inside my head… and that’s why I ballroom and swing dance. 

Traditional Ballroom Dance – Taught to the mind

Many ballroom teachers have a very analytical way of teaching which works well for analytical students.  The teacher teaches the student to use their mind to control the body, interpret music and execute specific practices of timing and technique.  Ballroom and swing dancing do have quite a bit of structure to them.  The 3 T’s of timing, teamwork and technique are introduced to students at a very early stage. 

Teachers are trained using a syllabus of steps for each dance.  Where I dance, we follow the DVIDA Syllabus.  This is a very structured syllabus that breaks down dance steps into 1/8 of a turn and half beat segments.  If there is any doubt in your mind how a leader or follower executes timing or footwork, the syllabus is your point of reference. 

Once you join the ranks of competitive dancers, a syllabus can become the standard that you are judged against.  How accurate are your steps?  How true are you to the interpretation of the dance?    Did you execute all the steps and use the correct timing? 

It is a field day for the analytical mind.  There is right and wrong… rules galore… rewards for following rules and execution of requirements… when things go well on the dance floor.

There is also blame… mistakes… shame… and a loss of confidence when things don’t go well on the dance floor.

Creative Dance – Taught to the body and spirit

When I was in college, I took a modern dance class.  When we went around the room and said why we signed up for the class, I said I was here to work on my spins, turns and balance so I could be a better couples dancer (hello analytical mind). 

What I took away from that class was so much more.  In this class, we concentrated on creating an emotional response from our movement.  It wasn’t about who had the best turn out.  It was about capturing a feeling in your own body, expressing it through movement and sharing it with someone else.  

We used dance to tell short stories rather than emulate perfect text book form.  I also learned to use my core to move my body, not just my mind.   Your body has a very distinctive look when your movement starts with your center rather than just moving limbs with your mind.

It was a field day for the creative mind.  No right and wrong… no rules… just pure expression of a feeling or idea… when things go well on the dance floor.

It can look confusing or chaotic at times… the audience doesn’t understand what you are expressing… when things go badly on the dance floor.

Dancing the Dance that is inside of you

As it turns out, Swing Dancing has a long and rich history built on rebellion.  And much of that rebellion is still carrying on today.  There is constant debate over footwork, music, timing and styling in the swing world today.  Because of this, swing dancing is still evolving at a pretty fast pace. 

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a revolutionary new way to learn how to swing dance in the comfort of your home.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is the first DVD system, that I have seen, that teaches structured ballroom dance, from the body and not the mind. Teaching you to feel the music and rhythm through your body are the first lessons you learn with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Once you can feel the music, ZeDiamond Dance Method helps you move your body to the rhythm and the dance steps just flow out of you. 

In many swing circles, dancers have come together to escape the rules of traditional ballroom dance and its syllabus.  Rules become more like guidelines as you grow and become a more experienced swing dancer. 

You learn to dance without thinking, judging or feeling shame over mistakes.  Your body and your brain stop fighting one another.  You dance the dance that is inside you with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  You feel the music flow into you and the dance steps flow out of you. 

Dancers judge their dancing based on the fun they are having, the smile on their partner’s face or the clapping of onlookers.  I judge my dancing on how tired and sore I am the next day.  The more I hurt, the better time I usually had.

Social Swing Dancing allows you to dance the dance that is inside you, while maintaining the character of the dance.  Let your creative and structured self rejoice!  You can be sexy or playful or larger than life while still swing dancing with your partner.

ZeDiamond Dance Method is one way to learn to East Coast Swing Dance that will not only teach you basic swing steps and footwork, but will also help you find the creative dance inside of you that you can share with a partner. 

Then you can start worrying about important things, like… Why is my partner smiling?

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Snow day in Asheville, NC

I’m not sure what the weather is like at your house, but in Asheville, NC it is snowing.  That may not sound like a big deal… but in this small mountain town, everything comes to a grinding halt.  Asheville will even come to halt without the snow, we just have to have a weather report calling for snow to move into the area.  With this winter being one of Asheville’s coldest and snowiest, our school age children have had many canceled classes and snow days.

So today, like many snow days, parents and their children are caught at home to wait it out.  So what are we going to do today?  What family activity will bring us all closer together, be fun for everyone and hopefully burn off some of the extra energy we are carrying around?  Let’s all learn to dance together!

What are we going to do now?

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my mother trying to teach my sister and I to dance in our living room.  Cha cha, Tango, Polka and Jitterbug/East Coast Swing were great past times for cold and snowy days.  My mom grew-up in a family that socially ballroom danced.  She married a man who did not.  So many hours and snow days were spent teaching my sister and I to dance so she would have someone to dance with.  This was a special bonding time for the three of us, filled with giggles, music and joy.   It was by no means quality dancing… but it was quality time we spent together.

You can teach your children to dance!  You can start today!  Peel yourself away from the computer and pull the iPods earbuds out of your children’s ears and get moving.  Below is an excerpt from Teach Kids How.  Teach Kids How is an website full of topics and ideas for parents who wish to teach their children something new.  Follow these few guidelines and you and your children will be up and dancing with the music in no time.

Teach Your Child How to Dance

“Dancing has been around since the beginning of time. Before writing was invented people use to tell storied through dance, seek rain through dance, celebrate marriage through dance. In even earlier dates dance was used to heal the sick or wounded and break an evil curse that was placed on a tribe or village member.

Since that time the amount of dances and the reasons for dancing that has evolved is remarkable and difficult for anyone to keep up with, from the Salsa to the Waltz, from the Smurf to the Electric slide, the Mambo and even the Cha-Cha. There are so many it’s enough to make the common person feel overwhelmed and completely out of style.

But the benefits of dancing can be exceptional for your overall health and wellness. What other exercise can you both have dun doing and gain exceptional benefits to your health? Teaching your children to dance can be beneficial to you both in physical health, mental connectivity, and just having the ability to dance when a celebration occurs.

Preschool
When your children are younger than elementary age introducing them to dance can be as simple as allowing them to dance free verse. When anyone begins to dance, allowing the rhythm of music to sweep through his or her body is the first step to learning how to dance. Simply put some good dance music on and dance together, you’ll both have fun doing it anyway.

Instead of “teaching” your child how to dance and making them fuse about learning, try playing follow the leader with your child. When children are playing a game or not thinking they are actually learning something, they will pick up on the instruction so much easier. There’s something about playing a game that gets kids motivated, as opposed to actually learning something.

Main points to address:

• Allow your children to dance free verse.
• Play follow the leader while dancing.

Grades K-6th
In most areas there are places that provide dance classes to anyone willing to learn. Many classes will teach a variety of dances including ballroom, break dance, hip-hop, tap, country line dancing and other types of dance. This could be a class that you and your child can take and learn together. When parents are attempting to learn something new this will get your child enthusiastic about their learning process. Obtain local information about local dance events or presentations. You can also contact local dance studios to sit in and watch the instruction and type of dance being taught if you you’d like to review their instructions first.

If dance classes are not available in your area or you’re not interested in taking them try purchasing dance videos and/or dance books. They’ll show you step-by-step instructions on that dance that you or your child is looking to learn. Or use the simple one-two, one-two way you learned how to dance. Make the process fun with a few twists and twirls. The bottom line is to fun with your child, while they’re learning.

Main points to address:

• Take classes together.
• Buy dance videos and books.
• Take them to dance studios or dancing events.”

Excerpt by Teach Kids How from “Teach Your Child How to Dance”
http://www.teachkidshow.com/teach-your-child-how-to-dance/

All kids love to dance 

My nephews remind me of this everytime I see them.  They dance in the their car seats, the grocery store, Target and everywhere else that happens to have music playing in the back ground.  They will even bob their heads in time to the music I hum when I get a song stuck in my head.  At this point, in their preschool lives, dancing is a game they play with the world around them. 

As they grow, children have two ways to learn that involve their parents.  One experience is to learn something from the parent.  The child is the “novice” and the parent is the teacher or “expert” in this experience.  The other experience is to learn something with the parent.  The child and the parent are both “novices” and are working through the learning process together following an outside expert.   

Learning to dance with your child is not only a great educational experience, but can also be bonding experience as well.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is a simple and easy way for children and adults to learn to dance together.  Since this teaching method is available on DVD, there is no need to venture out in the cold and snow to take dance lessons.  Order ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing 2 DVD set and pop it in the DVD player during your next snow day.  You and your children can learn to dance the East Coast Swing together in the comfort of your home.  Preschool age children will enjoy disc 1 with the rhythm practice and stomp, clap and singing exercises that help develop an inner sense of rhythm.  School age children will enjoy both discs as they learn swing dance steps and start dancing with you.  Click here to watch a video clip and see how ZeDiamond Dance Method could work for you. 

Learning how to dance the East Coast Swing together, can start your children (and you as well) on a life long journey through the world of dance.  Take your first dance steps in the comfort of your own home with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Who knows where your dancing feet will take you next.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

I’m not sure you have noticed… but I’m a pregnant swing dancer.

Currently, I am 20-something weeks along and still dancing up a storm.  Well, I’m dancing up as big a storm as my dance partners will allow.  As my belly has gotten bigger, my ballroom dance connection improved for awhile.  The curve of my belly fit the curve of my husband’s belly nicely.  But now, the belly is starting to make Tango a little more interesting.   Luckily, I am a swing dancer and the versatility (and distance) of open dance position keeps me smiling and in my favorite dance shoes rather than on the sidelines of the dance floor.

I have been told that “Baby Barnes” is going to come out spoiled.  Baby Barnes will have spent 9 months in the womb being rocked for hours by all the East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing and Hustle dancing I do.  After being born, the baby will still want to be rocked (or Swing) for hours on end.

I have noticed that the baby tends to wiggle and kick when I am still.  Right now, I’m getting kicked because I’m sitting very still while writing this blog.  But get me to the ballroom or dance studio and the kicking stops soon after my first dance.  The swing dance steps and the movement of my body rocks the baby to sleep while I am working up a sweat to some very loud music.

This got me thinking about dancing with babies.  I found this article and thought I would share it with you.  Susan Peach has over 20 years experience as a Latin dance and fitness instructor. She is also the creator of Mambo Moms, a fun and gentle Latin dance based fitness program that helps new moms get back in shape while spending quality play time with their babies.  http://www.mambomoms.com

Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

by PregnancyAdmin on May 5, 2009

“Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

Every parent knows the calming effects on their baby of rocking and gentle motion. After all, who among us has not paced the floor at 2 am trying to entice a little one back to sleep by rocking, bouncing or swaying?

I want to continue our discussion on personal improvement.  We all now know why our shoes stink.  But there are other concerns that still keep us socially awkward at swing parties and ballroom dances.

You know me, I’m a stickler for dance etiquette.  I don’t need to be the best East Coast Swing dancer in the room.  But when I dance with someone, I do have a goal.  It’s not to out dance my partner or show everyone how cool I am.  My goal is for my partner to end the dance with a smile on their face and thinking, “I really enjoyed that.  Swing dancing with her is fun.”  Mind you,  I have the same expectation for my dance partner.  I want to end the dance smiling after enjoying dancing with them too.

But every so often, you dance with a “Sketchy Guy” or a “Sketchy Girl”.  After dancing with a sketchy dancer, it can be very hard to walk away with a smile on your face.  Many times, it is hard to enjoy dancing with a sketchy dancer.

 We have all been guilty of the behaviors bellow.  We have all done things that can be thought of as “sketchy”.  But what we need to do, is recognize our sketchiness, laugh at it, learn from it and then stop doing it.  Nobody wants to be described as “You know, that sketchy swing dancer, over there.”

Please enjoy the musings of Richard Powers.  Richard has been teaching contemporary and historic social dance for over thirty years.  He leads workshops around the world and is currently a full-time instructor at Stanford University’s Dance Division.

“This is a touchy topic because I don’t want to speak dismissively of anyone who loves to dance.  However it’s an important topic to many women who complain about “sketchy guys” at dances, so that makes it worth discussing.

What is a sketchy guy?

“OK, that’s a sexist term.  So let’s say that any woman who acts this way is a “sketchy girl.”  But somehow we see more males than females behaving this way on the dance floor.

A sketchy guy is…

1) Any man who is physically rough with his partner, who hauls his partner though steps and figures.

As you already know… a good lead knows and cares what is comfortable for his partner.  He cares what is pleasurable or fun for her, as opposed to just showing off, or using her as an accessory to his ego.

A considerate man dances for his partner’s ability and comfort; sketchy guys don’t.

A good lead clearly suggests an option, which is different from controlling her.  He proposes, not prescribes, a certain way of moving to his partner.  If his partner does not go with his proposal (does not ‘follow’), he adapts to her motion instead of exerting more power to press her to accept the proposal.

But guys, don’t be so afraid of seeming sketchy that your leads become wimpy.  Leads are physical, and your partner depends on clear leads.  If the physicality of the lead/follow connection is on a scale of one-to-ten, avoid 0 and 1 (wimpy); avoid 9 and 10 (physically rough).

2) A man who corrects his partner.

Have you ever danced with one of these guys?  Often the first thing he does when he begins a dance is correct his partner!  “You’re doing it wrong. You have to do it this way.”  Yikes!

The clear message to most women is that he’s doing this to exert absolute control at the beginning of their dance.  It’s his way of establishing dominance, saying in effect, “This is NOT a conversation and you don’t have a voice when dancing with me, so shut up and do as you’re told.”

To be fair, this may not be his actual intent.  Maybe his teacher gave him the misguided impression that he should correct his partners if they dance differently from the Only One Way he knows.  But regardless of his intent, a correcting attitude feels disrespectful to her, so men be forwarned that she may not want to dance with you again.

A correcting attitude is usually either  (A) antisocially pedantic  or  (B) it demonstrates his inexperience, showing her that he only knows one way to dance (or only one style, or one kind of dance hold/frame).  If he thinks, “Oh I know other ways, but I think they’re all wrong,” then he’s the first version, antisocially pedantic.

An only-one-way attitude is also unrealistic.  How can anyone not understand that dancers come in different shapes, sizes and experience?  Each partner has had different teachers.  Or maybe they just picked up dancing on the fly, by diving in and seeing what works.  Different doesn’t mean wrong.  When someone has a different style from your own, try to find ways to make dancing functional, fun and social.

Women aren’t exempt from this consideration.  When a woman exhibits a correcting attitude, it’s just as bad as when a man does it.

Exceptions:  Correcting is okay of it’s to let one’s partner know if they’re hurting you, “driving dangerously” on the dance floor, or if your partner actually asks you for advice or feedback.  Some dancers do request feedback and help from their partners, so if your partner requests feedback, then yes, it’s fine and even appreciated.

3) A man who tries to pick up a woman on the dance floor.

It’s smart to assume that women come to a dance to dance, not to find a date.  If there’s an exception, she’ll find a way to let you know, but the default assumption is that she came to have fun dancing. 

    a) Don’t ask her for a date (unless she initiates or hints at it).
    b) Don’t ask the same woman for several dances unless she lets you know she wants more dances with you.
    c) If she says no to a dance, then no means no.  Period.  Don’t pester her.

Some scenes may be exceptions to this.  Some salseros have told me that their salsa club is essentially a pick-up club, and that everyone going there knows this.  OK, if that’s the understanding at a dance, fine.  But the inviolable part of this section is: if she says no, respect her wishes and don’t pester her.

4) Stinky guys (and women).

It’s amazing that some people haven’t learned the essential social skill of hygiene.  Always shower, brush your teeth, floss and use deodorant before going out dancing, including to dance classes.  And if you tend to get really sweaty, you get huge bonus points for bringing a second dry shirt to change into halfway through the dance.

Women, please don’t wear perfumes (or colognes for men) to a social dance.  Most people don’t consider it very sociable, and some have allergies to fragrances.

“Sketchy” isn’t a textbook definition, so opinions about the term vary.  Some people consider stinky dancers sketchy, while others say, “No, it’s not sketchy, it’s just disgusting.”  OK, but either way it’s not a good thing.

Who isn’t a sketchy guy?

1) My pet peeve is a few undergrad students who call a grad student “sketchy” simply because he’s a few years older.  No, being a different age doesn’t make someone sketchy, especially if he’s a good dancer and an attentive, respectful partner.

2) A man or woman with “emerging social skills” isn’t necessarily sketchy.  Everyone has to learn somewhere.  If you don’t know how to respond to someone’s social awkwardness, err on the side of patience and encouragement.  They will appreciate your kindness more than you realize!

Bottom line:

In an age of increasing divisiveness, we should try to be more tolerant and accepting of differences of any kind.  But roughness, disrespect and predatory behavior is sketchy, and isn’t welcome at a social dance.”

Excerpt from “Sketchy Guys” Musing by Richard Powers
http://socialdance.stanford.edu/syllabi/sketchy.htm

How to avoid being “Sketchy”

First, we must quickly define communication.  Communication isn’t just sending a message.  True communication happens when a message is sent, received, interpreted and responded to.  In order to communicate with someone, you must also be connected to them, otherwise, they never receive your message.  One can see how dancing is often the result of good communication between partners.  He communicates through his lead… she has to receive the message, interpret it and chooses how to respond. Then she sends her own communication back as following.  He receives the communication, interprets it, and adjusts his lead for the next communication… and the cycle repeats over and over until the song ends. 

Many times, sketchiness comes from a lack of communication.  Rough leads and rough follows may be the result of one-way communication.  Think of excessivly aggressive leading and back leading as shouting at a partner.  When was the last time you were shouted at and you enjoyed it?  Leaders and followers that are sketchy are shouting at their partners the entire dance.  Their message is ”I don’t trust you to know what you are doing,” or “I’m taking over from here!”  They have taken the away the two-way communication of a dance partnership and taken a lot of the joy out of dancing for themselves and their partners.

What can we do to communicate better?

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a unique was to learn and teach dance.  Lots of dancers worry about their feet, the counts of the music and being wrong or their partner being wrong.  Many dancers play the blame game with their partners and leave the dance floor feeling guilty.  ZeDiamond Dance Method takes that all away.  It is way to learn how to dance where making mistakes and falling out of time makes you a better dancer. 

Many dancers concentrate on learning steps and moves.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method, the focus is on feeling the rhythm of the music and connecting with your partner.  As your mind let’s go, your body relaxes and you start to dance without thinking.  You feel the dance.  You feel your partner.  And the steps just flow through you.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, you will learn to connect with your partner, communicate with your partner through leading and following and enjoy dancing with one another.  Click here to learn how ZeDiamond Dance Method is different from traditional ways of teaching swing dancing.

You will truly see how dancing is two-way communication between partner with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Start dancing now by ordering your own 2 DVD set of ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.

See you out on dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

 

 

What we love about East Coast Swing…

Once you start swing dancing, it’s hard to stop.  The people are friendly.  The music is lively.  Your partner sweeps you off your feet.  You are having a ball!  Click here to see how much fun East Coast Swing dancing can be.  You are tearing up the dance floor and working up a sweat as you dance the night away.

Many beginner dancers are surprised by how athletic a night of dancing can be.  Even if you dance along to an intructional DVD at home, like ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, your body will start to get warm and sweat.  Sweat is how your body cools down.  Sweat can be a hard thing to control out on the dance floor.  So let’s cover a few basics that will keep you out on the dance floor swing dancing all night long, while keeping you fresh as a flower.  Today’s focus will be stinky shoes.

Funky Feet

There are more sweat glands on your feet than anywhere else on your body.  These sweat glands kick in to action while we are dancing because they are trying to cool us down.  Normally the sweat would dry up, we would cool down and the bacteria on our skin would begin dying off.  Out on the dance floor, our swing shoes keep our feet moist and the bacteria keep partying.  In many cases, it is the bacteria that cause our feet and shoes to stink – not just the sweat on it’s own.

Why are my favorite swing shoes the stinkiest?

As much as I love to have new shoes… my favorites are always old shoes.  They are broken-in just right.  They have stretched to fit my foot perfectly.  I know just how much grip and slip to expect from the suede soles.  But these little shoes can clear a room in a heart beat if they aren’t taken care of.  Dance shoes stink because they have had many hours on the dance floor, collecting sweat and bacteria from feet.   After hours of dancing East Coast Swing, dance shoes are warm, wet and full of stinky bacteria.

Tips to De-Stink your dance shoes

• Air them out – It is very tempting to keep stinky shoes in a plastic bag to trap the smell.  You also trap in the bacteria and the warm and wet world they love to live in.  Once out of the range of the public nose, exposure to cool, dry air will help keep the life of bacteria down.  Porches, garages, basements and mud rooms are popular places for stinky shoes.  But keep them close to a de-humidifier or air purifier for best results.  Store dance shoes in a breathable cloth or mesh bags instead of plastic to help keep them dry.
• Wear 2 or 3 pairs of shoes - If you dance multiple days in a row, your shoes are not getting much of a chance to recover.  If your shoes do not completely dry between dance sessions, the bacteria is not dying off and will contiune to stink up your shoes.  Rotating shoes will give them more time to dry and more time for bacteria to die.  For a 2 shoe rotation think, “a pair to wear and a pair to rest.”  This gives your shoes atleast 24 hours to dry and recover.   If a full day is not enough, or you have a long day and night of dancing ahead of you, try a 3 shoe rotation.  “Wear a pair today, a fresh pair for tonight and a third pair to rest and be ready for tomorrow.”  
• Wear clean and dry socks – Wearing and changing socks is a quick and easy way to control the moisture on your feet and in your shoes.  Look for socks that wick moisture away from your feet or are made with cotton.  If you think you can smell your own shoes or you can feel that your feet are wet, a quick change of socks may keep the smell at bay.  In many cases, it is easier to wash sock than shoes.  Make sure you are always wearing a fresh and clean pair of socks… not a worn, damp or stinky pair of socks from the bottom of your shoe bag. 
• Foot powders, sprays and drops – If they work on your feet, they may work on your shoes too.  Spray or dust with powder before and after dancing.  This will help to control the moisture level and deoderize your shoes.  Tea tree oil drops will also help control fungus and bacterial growth as well as help shoes smell fresh. 
• Sneaker Balls and Dryer Sheets- These little guys are like “Stick Ups Air Fresheners” for shoes.  For about $5, you get 2 Sneaker Balls that fit easily inside your shoes, shoe bag or any other small space.  Though they don’t do anything to help dry out your shoes, Sneaker Balls will help to deoderize your stinky toe tappers once you take them off.  You can try making something similar at home.  Stuff the toe of an old sock or knee high with baking soda and add a few drops of tee tree oil.  Tie off the toe of the sock to make a ball and trim off the rest of the sock.  The baking soda will help to absorb odors and the tee tree oil keeps things smelling fresh.  Slipping a fresh dryer sheet inside your shoes may also help to deodorize them when you are not wearing them.

What can I do at home?

Many people practice dancing at home.  My husband and I can be found dancing in our kitchen from time to time.  But rather than busting out the stinky dance shoes, we have more of a sock-hop approach to dancing at home.  Keeping your feet out of your shoes will also help with the smell.  Walking around barefoot helps to keep you feet cool and dry.  It also limits the bacteria growth.  Less bacteria = less stink.

When learning to dance at home, you have the opportunity to review your technique and improve your skills.  Some like to follow along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is a 2 DVD set that breaks down the basics of East Coast Swing dancing in a unique way.  Dancing along with a partner, practicing ZeDiamond Dance Method, will not only help reinforce fundamentals of East Coast Swing dancing, but you will be improving your conection skills with your partner and feeling the rhythm of the music at the same time.  Click here to learn more about ZeDiamond Dance Method and its unique way of teaching dance.

On a night when you want to dance, but there is no ballroom dance or swing party to go to, slip in your ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD and sock-hop or barefoot dance in the comfort of your own home.  Near the end of the DVD 2, there is practice music you can dance along with at home.  Leave the stinky shoes to air-out another night.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method