Posts Tagged ‘swing dancer’

Last night, my husband and I had dinner with my parents and handful of other local ballroom dancers.  My mother was telling the story of how she grew-up ballroom dancing and taught my sister and myself how to ballroom dance in the kitchen and living room while we were growing up.  I piped up that I had written a blog about learning to dance from Mom.  Others at the table chimed in that they enjoyed reading my blogs.  Then my dad looked at me and asked, “Have you blogged about me yet?”  Okay Dad, this one is about you.

Dads and Dancing - Do they mix?

Growing up, I only saw my father exhibit two styles of dancing, slow dancing and the Twist.  Both were usually done in the kitchen, while cooking with music on.  Mom was always there for the slow dance, but the Twist could happen at any time with anyone.  Up until 2007, that was the only dancing I ever saw come out of him. 

In 2007 some big changes happened.  My parents, my husband and I all moved to Asheville, NC.  For the first time since I moved away for college, I was living within a handful of miles from my parents.  Jason and I were also planning our wedding back in Minnesota.  A wedding full of dancing, thrown by swing and ballroom dancers and attended by lots and lots of swing and ballroom dancing friends and family.  Did I mention that there was going to be Swing and Ballroom dancing at the wedding?

The entire wedding reception was focused on dancing.  We rented Cinema Ballroom in Saint Paul to host the big reception swing dance party.  We served finger foods and mini desserts rather than a sit down dinner because we wanted more time for dancing.  But there was one little detail about the reception that was making me nervous… The Father/Daughter Dance.

As a rule, my dad did not dance outside of that kitchen.  I was even told by my mom that they almost didn’t go to Prom because my father disliked dancing that much.  What was I going to do?  I started pleading with my dad, “Just learn 3 little Waltz patterns.  That’s all I ask.  I just want to dance a simple Waltz with you at the wedding.”

Dance Lessons with Dad

Dad ordered an instructional ballroom dance DVD off the Internet and started working through it with Mom.  Mom was happy to be dancing again.  But the big test was learning how to dance with me.  After a few private dance lessons, I was very impressed with Dad and his new found dancing ability.  And the funny thing was, he was starting to enjoy dancing.  He enjoyed it so much, he learned more than just the 3 little Waltz patterns that I wanted him to learn.  That night, at the wedding reception dance, he and I waltzed all the way around the big floor.  It was just as I had dreamed.  He smiled his proud smile at me.  He turned me every time the song lyrics said “turn around”.  My mom cried a little.  It was perfect.  He was dancing with me and we were loving it.

Dancing for life

After the wedding, my parents started taking beginner group ballroom dance lessons.  And Dad loved it.  He took my mom out dancing.  They went to weekend ballroom dances.  Dad was officially wearing Mom out on the dance floor. 

“You have created a monster,” my mother told me one day.  “And the monster’s favorite dance is Cha Cha!”

Though things have slowed down for them, I think they are still dancing and enjoying each other.  Most of their dancing is in the kitchen and living room now… but it has evolved to higher level than the Twist.  By learning to dance, Dad made two women, who love him, very happy.  And he did not know he was going to like dancing so much!!!

Can your dad learn to dance?

You bet he can!!!  He can learn to dance with you, at home by dancing along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing can be your first dance lesson with Dad, right in the comfort of your own home. 

Do you live in the Asheville, NC area?  You, Dad and the entire wedding party can take dance lessons together at our Wedding Inspired Dance Lessons.  Come join us and other brides and grooms as we prepare you to dance beautifully on your wedding night, your honeymoon and the rest of your lives.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Snow day in Asheville, NC

I’m not sure what the weather is like at your house, but in Asheville, NC it is snowing.  That may not sound like a big deal… but in this small mountain town, everything comes to a grinding halt.  Asheville will even come to halt without the snow, we just have to have a weather report calling for snow to move into the area.  With this winter being one of Asheville’s coldest and snowiest, our school age children have had many canceled classes and snow days.

So today, like many snow days, parents and their children are caught at home to wait it out.  So what are we going to do today?  What family activity will bring us all closer together, be fun for everyone and hopefully burn off some of the extra energy we are carrying around?  Let’s all learn to dance together!

What are we going to do now?

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my mother trying to teach my sister and I to dance in our living room.  Cha cha, Tango, Polka and Jitterbug/East Coast Swing were great past times for cold and snowy days.  My mom grew-up in a family that socially ballroom danced.  She married a man who did not.  So many hours and snow days were spent teaching my sister and I to dance so she would have someone to dance with.  This was a special bonding time for the three of us, filled with giggles, music and joy.   It was by no means quality dancing… but it was quality time we spent together.

You can teach your children to dance!  You can start today!  Peel yourself away from the computer and pull the iPods earbuds out of your children’s ears and get moving.  Below is an excerpt from Teach Kids How.  Teach Kids How is an website full of topics and ideas for parents who wish to teach their children something new.  Follow these few guidelines and you and your children will be up and dancing with the music in no time.

Teach Your Child How to Dance

“Dancing has been around since the beginning of time. Before writing was invented people use to tell storied through dance, seek rain through dance, celebrate marriage through dance. In even earlier dates dance was used to heal the sick or wounded and break an evil curse that was placed on a tribe or village member.

Since that time the amount of dances and the reasons for dancing that has evolved is remarkable and difficult for anyone to keep up with, from the Salsa to the Waltz, from the Smurf to the Electric slide, the Mambo and even the Cha-Cha. There are so many it’s enough to make the common person feel overwhelmed and completely out of style.

But the benefits of dancing can be exceptional for your overall health and wellness. What other exercise can you both have dun doing and gain exceptional benefits to your health? Teaching your children to dance can be beneficial to you both in physical health, mental connectivity, and just having the ability to dance when a celebration occurs.

Preschool
When your children are younger than elementary age introducing them to dance can be as simple as allowing them to dance free verse. When anyone begins to dance, allowing the rhythm of music to sweep through his or her body is the first step to learning how to dance. Simply put some good dance music on and dance together, you’ll both have fun doing it anyway.

Instead of “teaching” your child how to dance and making them fuse about learning, try playing follow the leader with your child. When children are playing a game or not thinking they are actually learning something, they will pick up on the instruction so much easier. There’s something about playing a game that gets kids motivated, as opposed to actually learning something.

Main points to address:

• Allow your children to dance free verse.
• Play follow the leader while dancing.

Grades K-6th
In most areas there are places that provide dance classes to anyone willing to learn. Many classes will teach a variety of dances including ballroom, break dance, hip-hop, tap, country line dancing and other types of dance. This could be a class that you and your child can take and learn together. When parents are attempting to learn something new this will get your child enthusiastic about their learning process. Obtain local information about local dance events or presentations. You can also contact local dance studios to sit in and watch the instruction and type of dance being taught if you you’d like to review their instructions first.

If dance classes are not available in your area or you’re not interested in taking them try purchasing dance videos and/or dance books. They’ll show you step-by-step instructions on that dance that you or your child is looking to learn. Or use the simple one-two, one-two way you learned how to dance. Make the process fun with a few twists and twirls. The bottom line is to fun with your child, while they’re learning.

Main points to address:

• Take classes together.
• Buy dance videos and books.
• Take them to dance studios or dancing events.”

Excerpt by Teach Kids How from “Teach Your Child How to Dance”
http://www.teachkidshow.com/teach-your-child-how-to-dance/

All kids love to dance 

My nephews remind me of this everytime I see them.  They dance in the their car seats, the grocery store, Target and everywhere else that happens to have music playing in the back ground.  They will even bob their heads in time to the music I hum when I get a song stuck in my head.  At this point, in their preschool lives, dancing is a game they play with the world around them. 

As they grow, children have two ways to learn that involve their parents.  One experience is to learn something from the parent.  The child is the “novice” and the parent is the teacher or “expert” in this experience.  The other experience is to learn something with the parent.  The child and the parent are both “novices” and are working through the learning process together following an outside expert.   

Learning to dance with your child is not only a great educational experience, but can also be bonding experience as well.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is a simple and easy way for children and adults to learn to dance together.  Since this teaching method is available on DVD, there is no need to venture out in the cold and snow to take dance lessons.  Order ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing 2 DVD set and pop it in the DVD player during your next snow day.  You and your children can learn to dance the East Coast Swing together in the comfort of your home.  Preschool age children will enjoy disc 1 with the rhythm practice and stomp, clap and singing exercises that help develop an inner sense of rhythm.  School age children will enjoy both discs as they learn swing dance steps and start dancing with you.  Click here to watch a video clip and see how ZeDiamond Dance Method could work for you. 

Learning how to dance the East Coast Swing together, can start your children (and you as well) on a life long journey through the world of dance.  Take your first dance steps in the comfort of your own home with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Who knows where your dancing feet will take you next.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

An hour or so before we need to leave, I cry from the closet, “Honey, what are we going to wear?”

You can almost hear the eyes rolling in my husbands head.  “Whatever you want,” is the response I get on most days, which really doesn’t help me that much.  Without fail, the holy grail of outfits is either wet and still in the washer or dry, but lost somewhere in a pile of dirty clothes.

Now mind you, I am sure I make this a lot harder than it needs to be.  My husband and I are one of those “Matchy Matchy” couples.  We are our own accessories.  You will rarely see one of us in jeans and the other in dress pants.  We dress at the same level of formality and usually in the same color scheme.  We do have matching shirts and for the shirts that don’t match, my husband has ties that match my shirts. 

So why am I a mess?  With pregnancy and growing bellies comes a whole new outlook on wardrobing.  My wardrobe has also gotten much smaller in the past weeks.  I don’t fit in many of our matching outfits anymore.  Plus, different events call for different levels of formality in dressing.   You thought learning to dance was the hard part?  Finding the right outfit to wear to the dance is the next challenge.

As you enter the world of ballroom and swing dance, you will notice that not all events have the same level of formality or dress code.  Gala Balls have a different dress code than practice parties.  Theme parties and dances (WHICH I LOVE) require a little more thought and preparation than weeknight group classes.  Below is an excerpt from “Elements of Dance Etiquette” by Aria Nosratinia.   Aria has provided a wonderful guide to the various levels of formality that you find in the dance world.  Aria has also provided tips on dressing for comfort and safety… a must for all dancers

What to Wear?

Protocol:

The more formal the dance, the more formal the outfit. For example, if you are invited to a formal charity ball, anything less than a tuxedo for men or ball gown for women would be inappropriate. On the other hand, at a dance lesson at your local studio, there is usually no need to dress formally.

This is not as hard as it may seem; a little common sense goes a long way. Also, if in doubt, follow the crowd! See what others do and follow suit. If all else fails, you can always ask the dance organizers about the dress code.

Below I give a guideline and explanation for dress code, which you may see on invitations and announcements, as well as a general idea of what to wear at different dance venues.

• White tie: White tie is the most formal category of dressing. For the gentleman, it means a black tailcoat with matching trousers trimmed by ribbon of braid or satin on the outside of each trouser leg, a white pique’ tie, white pique’ single or double-breasted vest, and a wing-collar shirt with a stiff pique’ front. White gloves are nice optional accessories for gentlemen. The lady appears in a ball gown, which is an evening dress with a full skirt, possibly with open back and low neck line. Elbow-length gloves are a nice addition for the lady.
•  Black tie: Gentlemen in black tuxedo coat, trousers trimmed with satin ribbon along the outside of the legs, cummerband and bow tie. The phrase “black tie” does not refer to the color of the tie. In fact colorful ties (with matching cummerbands) are very popular. Ladies appear in ball gowns.
•  Black tie optional: Same as above, except gentlemen have the option of wearing a regular suit with a tie (bow tie preferred), and ladies wear a cocktail gown or dinner dress. Long to full-length skirts are preferred; short skirts are not recommended.
•  Formal: Gentlemen in suit and tie (nowadays a sport coat is often an acceptable replacement for a full suit), ladies in cocktail gown or evening dress.
•  Semi-formal: Gentlemen in dress slacks with dress shirt and tie, jacket is optional. Other options include a vest or a sweater that shows the tie. At the lower end of formality, these events can be attended without a tie, e.g. with a turtleneck and jacket. Ladies in evening dress or dinner dress, but other chic outfits are also acceptable (like flowing pants, etc.)
•  Dressy Casual: Applies to most practice dances, workshops, and dance lessons. Gentlemen can wear coton slacks with solid color T-shirt, turtleneck, mock turtleneck, or polo shirt. Ladies have a much wider set of clothing options. Use your imagination and sense of fashion. In general this is a conservative and toned-down appearance that has grown increasingly popular on the dance floors. Don’t forget your dance shoes!
•  Country/Western: Country western attire has variations across the country, but generally it is acceptable to go in blue or black jeans (not stone-washed) and cowboy boots. Make sure that the boots will not mark the dance floor. If you wear a hat, it may be a good idea to take it off when going on the floor. Note that country western folks can be very sensitive about their hats. It is improper to touch or otherwise handle someone’s hat, even if it sits on a table. For a lady to pick up and put on a gentleman’s hat is considered very flirtatious.
•  Milongas: (Argentine Tango) For both ladies and gentlemen, black or dark themes are preferred.
•  Latin: This refers to venues that specialize in Salsa, Merengue, Cumbia, etc. For gentlemen, any button-up shirt, solid T-shirt or mock turtleneck, dress slacks, and dance shoes. Jackets are nice, but a vest can be even more stylish. Unlike most other dance venues, bright and colorful outfits for gentlemen are acceptable, although dark themes are more common. Ladies can (and often do) wear sexy outfits: both short skirts and longer slit skirts are popular. Low necklines and exposed midriffs are not uncommon.
•  Swing: There are no strict rules for swing outfits. Both the Gentleman and the Lady wear outfits that are reasonably neat and chic, although often not very formal. Many types of swing are fast-paced and athletic, so wearing suitable clothing is essential. For example, the Lady would be well advised to stay away from short, tight skirts. See also the next section on Comfort and Safety. A cute trend, especially in Lindy Hop circles, is to wear vintage outfits from the 1930’s and 40’s. But this is not done everywhere and is not at all a requirement.

Comfort and safety:

Wear clothing that makes it easy and enjoyable to dance, both for yourself and your partner.

• Regardless of how informal the dance is, always wear dance shoes. Do not wear sneakers or other shoes with rubber or spongy soles. They can stick to the floor during turns and spins and cause ankle and knee injuries.
•  Avoid sleeveless shirts and strapped dresses, especially for active dancing: It is not pleasant to have to touch the damp skin of a partner.
•  Sleeves that are baggy or cut low in the armpit are not a good idea, especially in Latin and swing dancing, because dancers need access to partner’s back, and hands may get caught in baggy sleeves.
•  Accessories like big rings, watches, brooches, loose/long necklaces, and big belt buckles can be dangerous. They can catch in partner’s clothing, scratch and bruise.
•  Gentlemen: if you have no place to leave your keys and loose change, carry them in the *left* pocket of your trousers. This makes it less likely to bruise your partner.
•  Long hair should be put up or tied in a pony tail. It is difficult to get into closed dance position when the lady has long flowing hair (hair gets caught in gentleman’s right hand). It is also not fun to be hit in the face with flying hair during turns and spins. “

Excerpt from ”Elements of Dance Etiquette” byAria Nosratinia
http://www.utdallas.edu/~aria/dance/etiquette.html#Groom 

The Excuse to get Dressed-Up

Many times, people learn to dance so they have an excuse to get dressed-up and get out of the house.  Whether it is “date night” for a couple, a way to meet local single people in your community, or just an excuse to wear fabulous clothes, learning to dance can open all kinds of social doors as well as wardrobe and closet doors for you too. 

I know there are people out there that just don’t want to get dressed up.  They are content to wear sweat pants, dirty jeans, track suits, or yoga wear 24/7.  Many use the lack of clothing in their closets as a reason not to take dance classes or learn how to dance.  Just because everyone is wearing a ballgown in the movies, doesn’t mean everyone wears a ballgown to the Friday night dance.  Expensive costumes are not required to enjoy yourself out on the dance floor.

With ZeDiamond Dance Method, you don’t need to worry about what you are going to wear.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing 2 DVD set, you will be learning to swing dance in the privacy of your own home.  You can wear what ever you feel most comfortable in.  Socks, Pajamas, ratty old chinos, and denim shirts are perfect for learning how to swing dance at home.  Once you gain confidence in you new found dance skills, you may feel more comfortable getting a little spruced up and going out to a swing party or ballroom dance.

Click here to watch a video clip from ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.  The students in the class are college kids and are dressed as such.  Do you think they are going to let a little thing like clothing come between them and good time out swing dancing with friends?  I think not.  You should not either.

So ignore the wet and dirty clothing, like I have.  Find a clean pair of black pants, a bright colored shirt and go out and have a great time.  Even though I learned to ballroom dance just so I had an excuse to wear a ballgown, I am lucky if I wear my ballgown twice a year.  But my black swing pants have taken me everywhere else I have wanted to go dancing in Asheville, NC and all over the country. 

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

I’m not sure you have noticed… but I’m a pregnant swing dancer.

Currently, I am 20-something weeks along and still dancing up a storm.  Well, I’m dancing up as big a storm as my dance partners will allow.  As my belly has gotten bigger, my ballroom dance connection improved for awhile.  The curve of my belly fit the curve of my husband’s belly nicely.  But now, the belly is starting to make Tango a little more interesting.   Luckily, I am a swing dancer and the versatility (and distance) of open dance position keeps me smiling and in my favorite dance shoes rather than on the sidelines of the dance floor.

I have been told that “Baby Barnes” is going to come out spoiled.  Baby Barnes will have spent 9 months in the womb being rocked for hours by all the East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing and Hustle dancing I do.  After being born, the baby will still want to be rocked (or Swing) for hours on end.

I have noticed that the baby tends to wiggle and kick when I am still.  Right now, I’m getting kicked because I’m sitting very still while writing this blog.  But get me to the ballroom or dance studio and the kicking stops soon after my first dance.  The swing dance steps and the movement of my body rocks the baby to sleep while I am working up a sweat to some very loud music.

This got me thinking about dancing with babies.  I found this article and thought I would share it with you.  Susan Peach has over 20 years experience as a Latin dance and fitness instructor. She is also the creator of Mambo Moms, a fun and gentle Latin dance based fitness program that helps new moms get back in shape while spending quality play time with their babies.  http://www.mambomoms.com

Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

by PregnancyAdmin on May 5, 2009

“Shared Dancing has Benefits for Babies and New Moms Alike

Every parent knows the calming effects on their baby of rocking and gentle motion. After all, who among us has not paced the floor at 2 am trying to entice a little one back to sleep by rocking, bouncing or swaying?

I want to continue our discussion on personal improvement.  We all now know why our shoes stink.  But there are other concerns that still keep us socially awkward at swing parties and ballroom dances.

You know me, I’m a stickler for dance etiquette.  I don’t need to be the best East Coast Swing dancer in the room.  But when I dance with someone, I do have a goal.  It’s not to out dance my partner or show everyone how cool I am.  My goal is for my partner to end the dance with a smile on their face and thinking, “I really enjoyed that.  Swing dancing with her is fun.”  Mind you,  I have the same expectation for my dance partner.  I want to end the dance smiling after enjoying dancing with them too.

But every so often, you dance with a “Sketchy Guy” or a “Sketchy Girl”.  After dancing with a sketchy dancer, it can be very hard to walk away with a smile on your face.  Many times, it is hard to enjoy dancing with a sketchy dancer.

 We have all been guilty of the behaviors bellow.  We have all done things that can be thought of as “sketchy”.  But what we need to do, is recognize our sketchiness, laugh at it, learn from it and then stop doing it.  Nobody wants to be described as “You know, that sketchy swing dancer, over there.”

Please enjoy the musings of Richard Powers.  Richard has been teaching contemporary and historic social dance for over thirty years.  He leads workshops around the world and is currently a full-time instructor at Stanford University’s Dance Division.

“This is a touchy topic because I don’t want to speak dismissively of anyone who loves to dance.  However it’s an important topic to many women who complain about “sketchy guys” at dances, so that makes it worth discussing.

What is a sketchy guy?

“OK, that’s a sexist term.  So let’s say that any woman who acts this way is a “sketchy girl.”  But somehow we see more males than females behaving this way on the dance floor.

A sketchy guy is…

1) Any man who is physically rough with his partner, who hauls his partner though steps and figures.

As you already know… a good lead knows and cares what is comfortable for his partner.  He cares what is pleasurable or fun for her, as opposed to just showing off, or using her as an accessory to his ego.

A considerate man dances for his partner’s ability and comfort; sketchy guys don’t.

A good lead clearly suggests an option, which is different from controlling her.  He proposes, not prescribes, a certain way of moving to his partner.  If his partner does not go with his proposal (does not ‘follow’), he adapts to her motion instead of exerting more power to press her to accept the proposal.

But guys, don’t be so afraid of seeming sketchy that your leads become wimpy.  Leads are physical, and your partner depends on clear leads.  If the physicality of the lead/follow connection is on a scale of one-to-ten, avoid 0 and 1 (wimpy); avoid 9 and 10 (physically rough).

2) A man who corrects his partner.

Have you ever danced with one of these guys?  Often the first thing he does when he begins a dance is correct his partner!  “You’re doing it wrong. You have to do it this way.”  Yikes!

The clear message to most women is that he’s doing this to exert absolute control at the beginning of their dance.  It’s his way of establishing dominance, saying in effect, “This is NOT a conversation and you don’t have a voice when dancing with me, so shut up and do as you’re told.”

To be fair, this may not be his actual intent.  Maybe his teacher gave him the misguided impression that he should correct his partners if they dance differently from the Only One Way he knows.  But regardless of his intent, a correcting attitude feels disrespectful to her, so men be forwarned that she may not want to dance with you again.

A correcting attitude is usually either  (A) antisocially pedantic  or  (B) it demonstrates his inexperience, showing her that he only knows one way to dance (or only one style, or one kind of dance hold/frame).  If he thinks, “Oh I know other ways, but I think they’re all wrong,” then he’s the first version, antisocially pedantic.

An only-one-way attitude is also unrealistic.  How can anyone not understand that dancers come in different shapes, sizes and experience?  Each partner has had different teachers.  Or maybe they just picked up dancing on the fly, by diving in and seeing what works.  Different doesn’t mean wrong.  When someone has a different style from your own, try to find ways to make dancing functional, fun and social.

Women aren’t exempt from this consideration.  When a woman exhibits a correcting attitude, it’s just as bad as when a man does it.

Exceptions:  Correcting is okay of it’s to let one’s partner know if they’re hurting you, “driving dangerously” on the dance floor, or if your partner actually asks you for advice or feedback.  Some dancers do request feedback and help from their partners, so if your partner requests feedback, then yes, it’s fine and even appreciated.

3) A man who tries to pick up a woman on the dance floor.

It’s smart to assume that women come to a dance to dance, not to find a date.  If there’s an exception, she’ll find a way to let you know, but the default assumption is that she came to have fun dancing. 

    a) Don’t ask her for a date (unless she initiates or hints at it).
    b) Don’t ask the same woman for several dances unless she lets you know she wants more dances with you.
    c) If she says no to a dance, then no means no.  Period.  Don’t pester her.

Some scenes may be exceptions to this.  Some salseros have told me that their salsa club is essentially a pick-up club, and that everyone going there knows this.  OK, if that’s the understanding at a dance, fine.  But the inviolable part of this section is: if she says no, respect her wishes and don’t pester her.

4) Stinky guys (and women).

It’s amazing that some people haven’t learned the essential social skill of hygiene.  Always shower, brush your teeth, floss and use deodorant before going out dancing, including to dance classes.  And if you tend to get really sweaty, you get huge bonus points for bringing a second dry shirt to change into halfway through the dance.

Women, please don’t wear perfumes (or colognes for men) to a social dance.  Most people don’t consider it very sociable, and some have allergies to fragrances.

“Sketchy” isn’t a textbook definition, so opinions about the term vary.  Some people consider stinky dancers sketchy, while others say, “No, it’s not sketchy, it’s just disgusting.”  OK, but either way it’s not a good thing.

Who isn’t a sketchy guy?

1) My pet peeve is a few undergrad students who call a grad student “sketchy” simply because he’s a few years older.  No, being a different age doesn’t make someone sketchy, especially if he’s a good dancer and an attentive, respectful partner.

2) A man or woman with “emerging social skills” isn’t necessarily sketchy.  Everyone has to learn somewhere.  If you don’t know how to respond to someone’s social awkwardness, err on the side of patience and encouragement.  They will appreciate your kindness more than you realize!

Bottom line:

In an age of increasing divisiveness, we should try to be more tolerant and accepting of differences of any kind.  But roughness, disrespect and predatory behavior is sketchy, and isn’t welcome at a social dance.”

Excerpt from “Sketchy Guys” Musing by Richard Powers
http://socialdance.stanford.edu/syllabi/sketchy.htm

How to avoid being “Sketchy”

First, we must quickly define communication.  Communication isn’t just sending a message.  True communication happens when a message is sent, received, interpreted and responded to.  In order to communicate with someone, you must also be connected to them, otherwise, they never receive your message.  One can see how dancing is often the result of good communication between partners.  He communicates through his lead… she has to receive the message, interpret it and chooses how to respond. Then she sends her own communication back as following.  He receives the communication, interprets it, and adjusts his lead for the next communication… and the cycle repeats over and over until the song ends. 

Many times, sketchiness comes from a lack of communication.  Rough leads and rough follows may be the result of one-way communication.  Think of excessivly aggressive leading and back leading as shouting at a partner.  When was the last time you were shouted at and you enjoyed it?  Leaders and followers that are sketchy are shouting at their partners the entire dance.  Their message is ”I don’t trust you to know what you are doing,” or “I’m taking over from here!”  They have taken the away the two-way communication of a dance partnership and taken a lot of the joy out of dancing for themselves and their partners.

What can we do to communicate better?

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a unique was to learn and teach dance.  Lots of dancers worry about their feet, the counts of the music and being wrong or their partner being wrong.  Many dancers play the blame game with their partners and leave the dance floor feeling guilty.  ZeDiamond Dance Method takes that all away.  It is way to learn how to dance where making mistakes and falling out of time makes you a better dancer. 

Many dancers concentrate on learning steps and moves.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method, the focus is on feeling the rhythm of the music and connecting with your partner.  As your mind let’s go, your body relaxes and you start to dance without thinking.  You feel the dance.  You feel your partner.  And the steps just flow through you.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, you will learn to connect with your partner, communicate with your partner through leading and following and enjoy dancing with one another.  Click here to learn how ZeDiamond Dance Method is different from traditional ways of teaching swing dancing.

You will truly see how dancing is two-way communication between partner with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Start dancing now by ordering your own 2 DVD set of ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.

See you out on dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

The hunt is on!  We’re hunting for dance partners…

It is time, once again to talk dance etiquette.  Just learning how to dance lots of steps or having tons of swing dance moves isn’t enought to keep you swing dancing all night.  There is more to having lots of dance partners than just being the best east coast swing dancer in the room.  There is a proper way to ask someone for a dance, to decline and to accept a dance.  But we don’t need to worry about those things quite yet.  Because first we need to find someone we feel open to dancing with and hope they are open to dancing with us. 

Paul McClure is here to give us advise on scouting for dance partners.  The following is from his book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”.  I know that it is written from a country dance hall perspective, but it holds true at swing parties, ballroom dances and at a nightclub dance as well.

Scouting

“When you’re ready to ask someone to dance, look for prospects flashing Wanna Dance Signals. Some are intentional and some are inadvertent, but all indicate readiness to dance.

HIS WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Taking the free dance lesson
2. Removing hat, slicking down hair, putting hat back on
3. Spitting out tobacco plug
4. Munching popcorn in time to music
5. Popping Tic Tacs
6. Persuading friends to bet him that he won’t ask anybody to dance

 HER WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Vigorous line dancing
2. Wearing shoes with straps or real western boots
3. Standing at an entry point to the dance floor
4. Sitting on an aisle stool or some other accessible place
5. Making eye contacting and smiling
6. Breathing

Look to those who are flashy, trashy or drunk for after-hours amusement, not dancing.  For dance partners, find people with open, sunny faces who smile a lot when they dance.  Drawing most attention are those who either dance with a variety of partners – probably the regulars – or ones who line dance enthusiastically – probably the newcomers.  Looking sad, preoccupied or desperate discourages others from attempting to penetrate your cloud.

Women can ask men to dance at a country dance hall.  Therefore, each individual chooses for himself or herself whether to watch or dance.  Cowboys relish both the notion that they might get asked to dance and the idea that the ladies can appreciate the courage it takes to ask.

If you wish to state your availability to dance, then ask an old coot to dance.  It will show you off to great advantage.  Plus, older partners usually have more refined people skills and more dance-focused social agenda.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

I have seen the signs and I believe them to be true!

I have traveled all across this country and dance with people from every state and a few foreign countries too.  The Wanna Dance Signals are very universal.  They work just as well in Asheville, NC as they do Las Vegas, NV.  Ballroom dances, swing dances, night clubs and dance halls all have women and men who are there to dance… you just have to see the signals. 

Leaders, if she is breathing and at a dance, trust me, she is there to dance.  She really wants to dance if she sits near the edge of the dance floor or has learned to lead and is dancing with other women.  Even if all you know is how to East Coast Swing, an open partner will be happy to dance with you.

Too timid to consider dancing?

With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn at your own pace and where you feel most comfortable… at home in your kitchen or living room. Learn simple and easy East Coast Swing dance moves in your own home, before venturing out to a club, party, or dance.  Then you can take the free dance lesson at the ballroom dance or swing party with more confidence.  Once your confidence grows, you will be able to take what you have learned from ZeDiamond Dance Method and use it as a tool with while learning other dances.

If you ever find me at a dance in Asheville, NC or anywhere else in the world, please ask me to dance.  I promise I will say yes at least once.  Ballroom dance, swing dance, country western dance… it doesn’t matter – I”M HERE TO DANCE!   I WANNA DANCE!!! 

I look forward to seeing you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Amy and Jason Barnes cutting a rug

In the beginning, you are taught East Coast Swing steps…

As a beginner dancer, you attend social dances, how to dance workshops, use ZeDiamond Dance Method and may even take private lessons with an instructor on your journey to learn how to swing dance.  You work hard to learn East Coast Swing dance steps and swing dance moves.  You watch dance videos and DVD’s at home and practice in your kitchen.  You dream of the day when you will wow your friends with your new found swing dance skills on the dance floor.  However, in the rush of learning how to be a better East Coast Swing dancer, sometimes learning dance etiquette for around the dance floor, gets lost in the shuffle.  It doesn’t matter how great an East Coast Swing dancer you are, or how many swing dance moves you know, without the proper etiquette, you will get lost in social situations and miss out on dancing with others.

 In a previous blog, I introduced you to my favorite dance book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette.”  Though this book was written with a country dance perspective, I find it very relevant in other dance venues.  McClure’s dance etiquette is not limited to country bars and wearers of blue jeans with cowboy hats.  Swing dancers, ballroom dancers and nightclub dancers would all benefit from McClure’s wisdom.  McClure uses humor and honesty to deliver some much-needed lessons in etiquette to the dance community.  Some of my favorite pieces of advice are the “Cowboy Commandments.”  These commandments are focused actually on behavior off the dance floor.  They are wonderful suggestions, because people decide who to ask to dance based on what happens both on and off the dance floor.  A social etiquette mishap off the dance floor can be harder to forgive that stepped on toes during an East Coast Swing.

 I have used and taught these commandments over the years.  I look forward to sharing them with you now.

 Nine Cowboy Commandments – Originals by Paul McClure with revisions by Amy Barnes

1. Thou shalt brush thy teeth and put on a fresh shirt before leaving home.  Nobody has ever been turned down for a dance because they had fresh breath or had on a clean smelling shirt.  Use all the deodorant you want, but go light on the perfume and aftershave.  Plus, if anyone offers you a mint, take it.  Please, Take The Mint!
2. Thou shalt stay sober, but patronize and tip.  If you drink, please remember, “After one, I can feel it.  After two, my dance partners can feel it.  After three, even the dance floor can feel it.  I better sit down.”  Please, don’t forget your wait staff.  Just because you sipped water and ate popcorn all night, doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to keep you happy.
3. Thou shalt take the initiative to begin conversation.  Conversations are two-way communication.  Ask the other person questions and then give them a chance to talk.
4. Thou shalt offer a conversation topic during introductions.  When meeting new people, skip long and elaborate stories, discussion of medical conditions and personal histories of heart break.
5. Thou shalt give compliments, not advice, when dancing.  You have just been asked to dance a social East Coast Swing, not a give private lesson on proper swing dance technique.  There is something even in the worst dance of the night to compliment.
6. Thou shalt say “Ma’ma”, “Sir”, “Please” and “Thank you” at every possible opportunity.  Make your mother proud.  Always thank your partner for the dance.
7. Thou shalt not press attention without reciprocity.  Take small steps.  If reciprocity occurs to a minor display of interest, then anther step is appropriate.  When your ministrations go unrequited, you both tactfully forget there was an overture in the first place.
8. Thou shalt avoid any term which is slang for any part of the female body.  Rule of thumb, avoid talking about people’s bodies in general, outside of references to dance frame.
9. Thou shalt emulate Randolph Scott.  We all have role models.  Find one that exudes easygoing charm, good manners and is respected by the community.  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers also work well. 

You do not have to be the best dancer at the swing party to be the most desired dance partner there. 

Follow the Nine Cowboy Commandments and you will find much success in the social circles of the next dance party you attend.

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method