After popping “THE” question, you get a simple answer. “YES!”  Once wedding planning starts, there are lots of questions.  Many of them answered by the bride and her tribe of helpful workers.  But the big question I see come between couples is the question of the First Wedding Dance.

What song?  What dance? I don’t like that one. Pick another one. Really? Try again.

Truth be told, my husband and I were still working out what song and dance were going to be “our dance” at the wedding reception.  Our DJ told us we had a few minutes to figure it out, or he was going to pick the song we would dance to.   Trust me, you don’t want the DJ to pick “your song” for you.  We settled on (I talked Jason into it),  “I Wanna Be With You” by Mandy Moore and danced a lovely lead and follow Nightclub Two-Step.

Women dream about the wedding dance…
Men dream about getting out of the wedding dance and heading to the bar…

 Okay men.  I know that many of you are intimidated by the thought of dancing with your new bride with everyone watching you.  But the best defense is a good offense.  So let’s get out there and get prepared so this 3 minute dance doesn’t scare the pants off you and drive you to drink.  Believe me, she does not want her wedding dance memory to be of her holding your drunk body upright for the entire song.

What dance do we do to “Our Song”?

Once you have picked your song – narrowing down the dance becomes easy.  Most music only gives you a few choices of dances that match it.  Here is quick guide to help you.

Nightclub Merengue/4 Count Hustle

This covers a wide range of pop and rock songs.  In a pinch, it can stand in for contemporary Cha cha.  With it’s easy footwork and timing, it is quick to learn and very handy when dancing places other than the wedding reception.  Examples of popular songs are:
“Love is in the Air” – H. Vanda & G. Young
“First Kiss” – International Five
“I Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Baby” – Barry White

East Coast Swing/Single Time Swing

This also covers a wide range of pop and rock songs not to mention more traditional swing and blues music.  Swing dancing is very popular and you may find yourself enjoying these dances late into the night and for the rest of your lives together.  Examples of popular songs are:
“The Way You Make Me Feel” – Michael Jackson
“Accidentally in Love” – Counting Crows
“Your Body is a Wonderland” – John Mayer

Foxtrot

This old standard will have you floating across the dance floor.  Young and old enjoy a good Foxtrot.  This style of music is making a comeback  and has become very popular again.  Examples of great old and new Foxtrots are:
“The Best is Yet to Come” – Michael Buble’
“Fly Me to the Moon” – Frank Sinatra
“It Had to be You” – Harry Connick, Jr.

Nightclub Two-Step

This dance was developed by Buddy and Linda Schwimmer (yes, they are Benji’s and Lacey’s parents) to go with all those great ballads and love songs you hear on the radio.  As a beginner, you will dance this as a stationary dance – think of it as fancy version of Prom Dancing.  With a little time and practice, you can make this dance move around the room, gliding the entire time.  Nightclub Two-Steps you may know:
“From This Moment” – Shania Twain
“By Your Side” – Sade
“What a Wonderful World” – Louis Armstrong

Still lost?

You can learn to dance with us in the Asheville NC, area.  A new class is starting soon!!!  The focus of this class it to help people prepare for dancing at spring and summer weddings.  Come join us and learn the 4 dances mentioned above.

Wedding Dance Lessons – at The Farm

Or you can learn to swing dance in the comfort of your own home.  Try our Learn the East Coast Swing DVD and you will be ready to hit the dance floor in a short period of time!

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

We all have different reasons to learn how to dance…

When I started dancing, I was a single college student.  I was stuck on campus taking summer school classes.   Unlike other students, I wanted to do something other than hang out in a smokey bar and drink away brain cells.  I wanted to make new friends.  I wanted to express myself.  I wanted to be a “regular” somewhere.  I wanted to know that I could just show up (without a date) and see people I knew, have a good time and still get up and go to class in the morning without a headache. 

What I never knew I always wanted, was to learn how to Swing Dance.  I have gotten everything I wanted and so much more from swing dancing.  It all started with a free East Coast Swing  Dance lesson and skyrocketted  from there. 

Some people need a little more reason to try East Coast Swing Dancing for the first time.  Before ordering your ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD, consider the following list of 10 reasons to love dancing. 

Ten Reasons to Love Ballroom Dance

“You’ve probably seen the very popular BBC television program Strictly Come Dancing, in the USA it was called Dancing with the Stars. If you’re wondering what all the fuss is about look no further because here’s a beginners guide to the top ten reasons to love ballroom dancing.

One – The Music

Ballroom and Latin dance music is quite simply fabulous and it makes you want to dance. I defy anyone to listen to ‘Shout It Feel It’ by the Count Basie Orchestra and not want to at least tap their feet! Dancing aside there has been a resurgence in interest in jazz and swing music, Michael Buble and Jamie Cullum being two modern exponents of the genre, and this has only helped dance to once again capture the public imagination.

Two – It’s Up Close and Personal

Before the recent interest in ballroom dancing people used to laugh when I told them I danced. They saw it as a strange thing to do. I never quite understood this as in the words of George Bernard Shaw dancing is the “vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music”? Surely a reason to love ballroom dancing.

Three – Health Benefits

According to researchers social dancing provides the body with many health benefits. It may help reduce stress, increase energy, and improve strength, muscle tone, and co-ordination. Dancing can also burn as many calories as walking or riding a bike. One of the best aspects of ballroom dancing is the fun you can have while you’re doing something great for your body.

Four – The People You Meet

Like most walks of life dancing attracts all kinds of people but by far the majority of dancers are really nice people to know and great fun to be with.

Five – You Get to Dress Up

It’s fair to say that ballroom dancing went through a phase where the ladies wore some quite strange outfits. But today layers of petticoats and lace have given way to flowing gowns and glamorous figure hugging designer chic. Of course the men still wear their tail suits but even here heavy fabric has given way to much lighter and cooler alternatives. Socially of course tail suits are not worn but everybody loves the chance to dress up and wear nice clothes and what better occasion than a ballroom dance!

Six – You Can be Competitive

We humans are a competitive lot and dancing is no different. There is a vibrant and active competitive circuit at all levels of ballroom dancing from professional through to beginner. Even if stepping out with a number pinned to your back isn’t appealing you can still join in and shout your support from the wings. Contrary to popular belief competitive ballroom dancing isn’t a genteel pastime, quite the opposite and anyone attending a competition for the first time might be surprised by the experience. Competitions are definitely a reason to love ballroom dancing!

Seven – You Can Do It All Over The World

Ballroom dancing is popular the world over and if you travel you will find kindred spirits in all four corners of the globe. Some countries are more actively involved in dancing than others but you will seldom be far from a dance hall or studio wherever you may roam.

Eight – You Can Make People Envious

Nobody likes a show off but there’s a fine line between showing off and simply doing something you enjoy. There are many social situations where being able to dance is a positive boon and many people have taken up dancing after being at a wedding and watching people who can dance take to the floor wishing it was them. So another way of looking at this is if you dance at a social event you may well be encouraging others to take up dancing too!

Nine – It’s Hard

I play golf. Golf’s hard and week after week I go back to the course and week after week the course beats me. Dancing is hard too. Week after week I go to lessons and come away safe in the knowledge that there is still much to learn. But this isn’t a bad thing. Learning and perhaps mastering things that are hard is part of the human condition and dancing will present you with a lifetime of learning opportunities and the associated feeling you get when you master just one small part of it. Like golf, dancing is rewarding and fun because it’s hard.

Ten – It’s just fun!

What ever the level of dancing you achieve you will have fun. From the beginners taking to the floor for the first time, often with a terrified look on their face, through to seasoned professionals strutting their stuff at a dance demonstration dancing makes you feel alive and it makes you smile.”

Excerpt from Ten Reasons to Love Ballroom Dance by David A Robinson
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_A_Robinson  

It has been more than 10 years since I took that East Coast Swing Dance lesson and I am still benefiting from it.

Now, I have hundreds of friends across the country (including new ones in Asheville, NC) that I met on the dance floor.  I have the confidence to walk into a room of strangers and just start talking to people.  Twice, I have moved to areas where I knew few people and didn’t have a job, but I found the dance community and started building a new life.  I have greatly improved my mental and physical health from all the smiles and miles of dancing I have put on my feet.  My brain enjoys the challenge of learning new dance steps and dance moves, styling and technique.  Dancing is a whole body, whole mind, whole soul activity… an activity best shared with others.

Okay, I’m convinced.  How do I get started dancing?

For many people, the first dance they learn is the East Coast Swing.  Click here to learn a little about the history of East Coast Swing Dancing.  The East Coast Swing is a fun and lively dance that can be danced to a variety of music. Click here to watch a performance of East Coast Swing Dancing.

You can start dancing, quickly and easily right in your own home.  Just move the coffee table, grab a partner and pop in this DVD.  Take your first dance lesson with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing.  You will learn right along with a class of beginner dancers.  They ask questions, they laugh, they learn more than dance steps, they learn to dance with each other… just like you will. 

You need more reasons before you give East Coast Swing Dancing a try?  Click here to see if ballroom and swing dancing are right for you.

Once you learn ZeDiamond Dance Method, you will be able to learn other dances and useother dance systems as well.  Build up you confidence by learning at home with the DVD dance lessons.  Then go out and dance in nightclubs, go to ballroom and swing dances and continue to take local dance lessons.  You can always comeback and review what you have learned with ZeDiamond Dance Methodby popping in the DVD and dancing along at home.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

I’ve been there.  I’ve been the person hiding in the back, strangely hoping and not hoping someone asks me to dance.  I’ve been too out of breath to speak, let alone dance another one.  I’ve been stepped on, had my arm wrenched, been hit by random free arms and I am now limping my way off the dance floor… just to meet the hopeful expression of a gentleman asking me, “Want-to?”

Declining a dance request is far more than, “just say no.”  You might be tired, hurt, thirsty or just not have another East Coast Swing left in you… But if all you say to the polite request to dance is, “No,” then you suddenly have a bigger problem than just sore toes.  Proper dance etiquette can help you politely decline a dance, while helping you keep or improve your chances for future dances.

Here is Paul McClure to help guide us through what could be a sticky situation at ballroom, swing or nightclub dance.

Declining A Dance

“When asked to dance, good manners dictate you say, “Yes,” at least once, unless the requesting party has overwhelming social disabilities.  Nothing shows class like a gracious acceptance of a dance from someone who may not appear to be exactly God’s gift.  Others notice.

However, if someone asks you to dance and you choose to decline, then do so without actually saying the word, “No,” and explain why you passed up the offer.  Suggestions include:

• “Let me sit this one out to catch my breath.”
• “Give me a few more dances to get up my courage.”
• “I haven’t learned that dance yet; how about a Rain Check till next time?”
• “I want to stay on the sidelines in hopes that Billy Bob will ask me to dance.”
• “I just told Billy Bob,’No,’ so I need to sit out a couple dances in order not to hurt his feelings.”

Also, when you decline a dance offer, introduce yourself and engage the petitioner in conversation for a short while so it won’t be evident to everybody in the room that you refused to dance.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

Now that I have said, “No,” now what?

This is a rule of etiquette that I feel very strongly about.

Once you have turned down a dance request, you may not accept another until the current song has ended and a new song has started! 

I know what you are thinking… “But I want to dance to this song, just not with this person.  I would rather take the chance that someone better comes along and asks me.”  Well, you can do that, if you want to be known as a “dance snob.”  Though it may be fun to toy with the idea of, “I only dance with certain people,” it will quickly leave you few and far between in the partner department. 

Typically, the most popular dancers at the party are the ones who dance with the widest variety of partners.  People notice who you dance with and who you turn down. 

If there is an honest desire to dance a particular dance or song with a certain someone, ask them for that dance early, before the song is even played.  Later, when Bubba asks you to dance to your favorite swing song, you can politely say, “I’m sorry Bubba, Billy Bob already promised me this dance.  But please ask me again later.  I do want to dance with you tonight.”  Then you can run to Billy Bob guilt free (provided Billy Bob remembered that this is your song) and Bubba is not crushed.  In fact, Bubba is hunting for a new partner, and still looking forward to dancing with you down the road. 

This rule is so universal, I have been made aware of it in my travels, not just in Asheville, NC.  I have walked over to a person in the middle of a song and started chatting with them.  Then they tell me, “I would really love to dance with you, but I have already turned someone down for this song.  Can I have the next Swing with you?”  I just think to myself, “Score! One point to the polite dancer at my side.”  But I always answer, “Yes!”

But I don’t feel comfortable dancing yet…

Never fear, in time you will become more at ease on the dance floor.  Practicing at home with ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD’s will help you on your way to becoming a more confident and accomplished dancer.  It’s simple. Start with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing and soon you will be ready to learn how to dance other dances.

ZeDiamond Dance Method was designed not only to help you learn how to East Coast Swing, but to help you feel the rhythm of the music and connect with your dance partners.  With a little practice, you will be enjoying the music and your partner and not worrying about your feet.  Click here to watch a short video about ZeDiamond Dance Method

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

It is time, once again to talk dance etiquette.  Just learning how to dance lots of steps or having tons of swing dance moves isn’t enought to keep you swing dancing all night.  There is more to having lots of dance partners than just being the best east coast swing dancer in the room.  There is a proper way to ask someone for a dance, to decline and to accept a dance.  But we don’t need to worry about those things quite yet.  Because first we need to find someone we feel open to dancing with and hope they are open to dancing with us. 

Paul McClure is here to give us advise on scouting for dance partners.  The following is from his book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”.  I know that it is written from a country dance hall perspective, but it holds true at swing parties, ballroom dances and at a nightclub dance as well.

Scouting

“When you’re ready to ask someone to dance, look for prospects flashing Wanna Dance Signals. Some are intentional and some are inadvertent, but all indicate readiness to dance.

HIS WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Taking the free dance lesson
2. Removing hat, slicking down hair, putting hat back on
3. Spitting out tobacco plug
4. Munching popcorn in time to music
5. Popping Tic Tacs
6. Persuading friends to bet him that he won’t ask anybody to dance

 HER WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Vigorous line dancing
2. Wearing shoes with straps or real western boots
3. Standing at an entry point to the dance floor
4. Sitting on an aisle stool or some other accessible place
5. Making eye contacting and smiling
6. Breathing

Look to those who are flashy, trashy or drunk for after-hours amusement, not dancing.  For dance partners, find people with open, sunny faces who smile a lot when they dance.  Drawing most attention are those who either dance with a variety of partners – probably the regulars – or ones who line dance enthusiastically – probably the newcomers.  Looking sad, preoccupied or desperate discourages others from attempting to penetrate your cloud.

Women can ask men to dance at a country dance hall.  Therefore, each individual chooses for himself or herself whether to watch or dance.  Cowboys relish both the notion that they might get asked to dance and the idea that the ladies can appreciate the courage it takes to ask.

If you wish to state your availability to dance, then ask an old coot to dance.  It will show you off to great advantage.  Plus, older partners usually have more refined people skills and more dance-focused social agenda.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

I have seen the signs and I believe them to be true!

I have traveled all across this country and dance with people from every state and a few foreign countries too.  The Wanna Dance Signals are very universal.  They work just as well in Asheville, NC as they do Las Vegas, NV.  Ballroom dances, swing dances, night clubs and dance halls all have women and men who are there to dance… you just have to see the signals. 

Leaders, if she is breathing and at a dance, trust me, she is there to dance.  She really wants to dance if she sits near the edge of the dance floor or has learned to lead and is dancing with other women.  Even if all you know is how to East Coast Swing, an open partner will be happy to dance with you.

Too timid to consider dancing?

With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn at your own pace and where you feel most comfortable… at home in your kitchen or living room. Learn simple and easy East Coast Swing dance moves in your own home, before venturing out to a club, party, or dance.  Then you can take the free dance lesson at the ballroom dance or swing party with more confidence.  Once your confidence grows, you will be able to take what you have learned from ZeDiamond Dance Method and use it as a tool with while learning other dances.

If you ever find me at a dance in Asheville, NC or anywhere else in the world, please ask me to dance.  I promise I will say yes at least once.  Ballroom dance, swing dance, country western dance… it doesn’t matter – I”M HERE TO DANCE!   I WANNA DANCE!!! 

I look forward to seeing you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Amy and Jason Barnes cutting a rug

In the beginning, you are taught East Coast Swing steps…

As a beginner dancer, you attend social dances, how to dance workshops, use ZeDiamond Dance Method and may even take private lessons with an instructor on your journey to learn how to swing dance.  You work hard to learn East Coast Swing dance steps and swing dance moves.  You watch dance videos and DVD’s at home and practice in your kitchen.  You dream of the day when you will wow your friends with your new found swing dance skills on the dance floor.  However, in the rush of learning how to be a better East Coast Swing dancer, sometimes learning dance etiquette for around the dance floor, gets lost in the shuffle.  It doesn’t matter how great an East Coast Swing dancer you are, or how many swing dance moves you know, without the proper etiquette, you will get lost in social situations and miss out on dancing with others.

 In a previous blog, I introduced you to my favorite dance book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette.”  Though this book was written with a country dance perspective, I find it very relevant in other dance venues.  McClure’s dance etiquette is not limited to country bars and wearers of blue jeans with cowboy hats.  Swing dancers, ballroom dancers and nightclub dancers would all benefit from McClure’s wisdom.  McClure uses humor and honesty to deliver some much-needed lessons in etiquette to the dance community.  Some of my favorite pieces of advice are the “Cowboy Commandments.”  These commandments are focused actually on behavior off the dance floor.  They are wonderful suggestions, because people decide who to ask to dance based on what happens both on and off the dance floor.  A social etiquette mishap off the dance floor can be harder to forgive that stepped on toes during an East Coast Swing.

 I have used and taught these commandments over the years.  I look forward to sharing them with you now.

 Nine Cowboy Commandments – Originals by Paul McClure with revisions by Amy Barnes

1. Thou shalt brush thy teeth and put on a fresh shirt before leaving home.  Nobody has ever been turned down for a dance because they had fresh breath or had on a clean smelling shirt.  Use all the deodorant you want, but go light on the perfume and aftershave.  Plus, if anyone offers you a mint, take it.  Please, Take The Mint!
2. Thou shalt stay sober, but patronize and tip.  If you drink, please remember, “After one, I can feel it.  After two, my dance partners can feel it.  After three, even the dance floor can feel it.  I better sit down.”  Please, don’t forget your wait staff.  Just because you sipped water and ate popcorn all night, doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to keep you happy.
3. Thou shalt take the initiative to begin conversation.  Conversations are two-way communication.  Ask the other person questions and then give them a chance to talk.
4. Thou shalt offer a conversation topic during introductions.  When meeting new people, skip long and elaborate stories, discussion of medical conditions and personal histories of heart break.
5. Thou shalt give compliments, not advice, when dancing.  You have just been asked to dance a social East Coast Swing, not a give private lesson on proper swing dance technique.  There is something even in the worst dance of the night to compliment.
6. Thou shalt say “Ma’ma”, “Sir”, “Please” and “Thank you” at every possible opportunity.  Make your mother proud.  Always thank your partner for the dance.
7. Thou shalt not press attention without reciprocity.  Take small steps.  If reciprocity occurs to a minor display of interest, then anther step is appropriate.  When your ministrations go unrequited, you both tactfully forget there was an overture in the first place.
8. Thou shalt avoid any term which is slang for any part of the female body.  Rule of thumb, avoid talking about people’s bodies in general, outside of references to dance frame.
9. Thou shalt emulate Randolph Scott.  We all have role models.  Find one that exudes easygoing charm, good manners and is respected by the community.  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers also work well. 

You do not have to be the best dancer at the swing party to be the most desired dance partner there. 

Follow the Nine Cowboy Commandments and you will find much success in the social circles of the next dance party you attend.

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method