The Nine Cowboy Commandments

January 13th, 2010 |

Author: admin

Amy and Jason Barnes cutting a rug

In the beginning, you are taught East Coast Swing steps…

As a beginner dancer, you attend social dances, how to dance workshops, use ZeDiamond Dance Method and may even take private lessons with an instructor on your journey to learn how to swing dance. You work hard to learn East Coast Swing dance steps and swing dance moves. You watch dance videos and DVD’s at home and practice in your kitchen. You dream of the day when you will wow your friends with your new found swing dance skills on the dance floor. However, in the rush of learning how to be a better East Coast Swing dancer, sometimes learning dance etiquette for around the dance floor, gets lost in the shuffle. It doesn’t matter how great an East Coast Swing dancer you are, or how many swing dance moves you know, without the proper etiquette, you will get lost in social situations and miss out on dancing with others.

In a previous blog, I introduced you to my favorite dance book, Paul McClure's Country Dance Etiquette “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette.” Though this book was written with a country dance perspective, I find it very relevant in other dance venues. McClure’s dance etiquette is not limited to country bars and wearers of blue jeans with cowboy hats. Swing dancers, ballroom dancers and nightclub dancers would all benefit from McClure’s wisdom. McClure uses humor and honesty to deliver some much-needed lessons in etiquette to the dance community. Some of my favorite pieces of advice are the “Cowboy Commandments.” These commandments are focused actually on behavior off the dance floor. They are wonderful suggestions, because people decide who to ask to dance based on what happens both on and off the dance floor. A social etiquette mishap off the dance floor can be harder to forgive that stepped on toes during an East Coast Swing.

I have used and taught these commandments over the years. I look forward to sharing them with you now.

Nine Cowboy Commandments – Originals by Paul McClure with revisions by Amy Barnes

Thou shalt brush thy teeth and put on a fresh shirt before leaving home. Nobody has ever been turned down for a dance because they had fresh breath or had on a clean smelling shirt. Use all the deodorant you want, but go light on the perfume and aftershave. Plus, if anyone offers you a mint, take it. Please, Take The Mint!
Thou shalt stay sober, but patronize and tip. If you drink, please remember, “After one, I can feel it. After two, my dance partners can feel it. After three, even the dance floor can feel it. I better sit down.” Please, don’t forget your wait staff. Just because you sipped water and ate popcorn all night, doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to keep you happy.
Thou shalt take the initiative to begin conversation. Conversations are two-way communication. Ask the other person questions and then give them a chance to talk.
Thou shalt offer a conversation topic during introductions. When meeting new people, skip long and elaborate stories, discussion of medical conditions and personal histories of heart break.
Thou shalt give compliments, not advice, when dancing. You have just been asked to dance a social East Coast Swing, not a give private lesson on proper swing dance technique. There is something even in the worst dance of the night to compliment.
Thou shalt say “Ma’ma”, “Sir”, “Please” and “Thank you” at every possible opportunity. Make your mother proud. Always thank your partner for the dance.
Thou shalt not press attention without reciprocity. Take small steps. If reciprocity occurs to a minor display of interest, then anther step is appropriate. When your ministrations go unrequited, you both tactfully forget there was an overture in the first place.
Thou shalt avoid any term which is slang for any part of the female body. Rule of thumb, avoid talking about people’s bodies in general, outside of references to dance frame.
Thou shalt emulate Randolph Scott. We all have role models. Find one that exudes easygoing charm, good manners and is respected by the community. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers also work well.