Posts Tagged ‘Asheville’

When you just can’t dance one more…

I’ve been there.  I’ve been the person hiding in the back, strangely hoping and not hoping someone asks me to dance.  I’ve been too out of breath to speak, let alone dance another one.  I’ve been stepped on, had my arm wrenched, been hit by random free arms and I am now limping my way off the dance floor… just to meet the hopeful expression of a gentleman asking me, “Want-to?”

Declining a dance request is far more than, “just say no.”  You might be tired, hurt, thirsty or just not have another East Coast Swing left in you… But if all you say to the polite request to dance is, “No,” then you suddenly have a bigger problem than just sore toes.  Proper dance etiquette can help you politely decline a dance, while helping you keep or improve your chances for future dances.

Here is Paul McClure to help guide us through what could be a sticky situation at ballroom, swing or nightclub dance.

Declining A Dance

“When asked to dance, good manners dictate you say, “Yes,” at least once, unless the requesting party has overwhelming social disabilities.  Nothing shows class like a gracious acceptance of a dance from someone who may not appear to be exactly God’s gift.  Others notice.

However, if someone asks you to dance and you choose to decline, then do so without actually saying the word, “No,” and explain why you passed up the offer.  Suggestions include:

• “Let me sit this one out to catch my breath.”
• “Give me a few more dances to get up my courage.”
• “I haven’t learned that dance yet; how about a Rain Check till next time?”
• “I want to stay on the sidelines in hopes that Billy Bob will ask me to dance.”
• “I just told Billy Bob,’No,’ so I need to sit out a couple dances in order not to hurt his feelings.”

Also, when you decline a dance offer, introduce yourself and engage the petitioner in conversation for a short while so it won’t be evident to everybody in the room that you refused to dance.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

Now that I have said, “No,” now what?

This is a rule of etiquette that I feel very strongly about.

Once you have turned down a dance request, you may not accept another until the current song has ended and a new song has started! 

I know what you are thinking… “But I want to dance to this song, just not with this person.  I would rather take the chance that someone better comes along and asks me.”  Well, you can do that, if you want to be known as a “dance snob.”  Though it may be fun to toy with the idea of, “I only dance with certain people,” it will quickly leave you few and far between in the partner department. 

Typically, the most popular dancers at the party are the ones who dance with the widest variety of partners.  People notice who you dance with and who you turn down. 

If there is an honest desire to dance a particular dance or song with a certain someone, ask them for that dance early, before the song is even played.  Later, when Bubba asks you to dance to your favorite swing song, you can politely say, “I’m sorry Bubba, Billy Bob already promised me this dance.  But please ask me again later.  I do want to dance with you tonight.”  Then you can run to Billy Bob guilt free (provided Billy Bob remembered that this is your song) and Bubba is not crushed.  In fact, Bubba is hunting for a new partner, and still looking forward to dancing with you down the road. 

This rule is so universal, I have been made aware of it in my travels, not just in Asheville, NC.  I have walked over to a person in the middle of a song and started chatting with them.  Then they tell me, “I would really love to dance with you, but I have already turned someone down for this song.  Can I have the next Swing with you?”  I just think to myself, “Score! One point to the polite dancer at my side.”  But I always answer, “Yes!”

But I don’t feel comfortable dancing yet…

Never fear, in time you will become more at ease on the dance floor.  Practicing at home with ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD’s will help you on your way to becoming a more confident and accomplished dancer.  It’s simple. Start with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing and soon you will be ready to learn how to dance other dances.

ZeDiamond Dance Method was designed not only to help you learn how to East Coast Swing, but to help you feel the rhythm of the music and connect with your dance partners.  With a little practice, you will be enjoying the music and your partner and not worrying about your feet.  Click here to watch a short video about ZeDiamond Dance Method

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

The hunt is on!  We’re hunting for dance partners…

It is time, once again to talk dance etiquette.  Just learning how to dance lots of steps or having tons of swing dance moves isn’t enought to keep you swing dancing all night.  There is more to having lots of dance partners than just being the best east coast swing dancer in the room.  There is a proper way to ask someone for a dance, to decline and to accept a dance.  But we don’t need to worry about those things quite yet.  Because first we need to find someone we feel open to dancing with and hope they are open to dancing with us. 

Paul McClure is here to give us advise on scouting for dance partners.  The following is from his book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”.  I know that it is written from a country dance hall perspective, but it holds true at swing parties, ballroom dances and at a nightclub dance as well.

Scouting

“When you’re ready to ask someone to dance, look for prospects flashing Wanna Dance Signals. Some are intentional and some are inadvertent, but all indicate readiness to dance.

HIS WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Taking the free dance lesson
2. Removing hat, slicking down hair, putting hat back on
3. Spitting out tobacco plug
4. Munching popcorn in time to music
5. Popping Tic Tacs
6. Persuading friends to bet him that he won’t ask anybody to dance

 HER WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Vigorous line dancing
2. Wearing shoes with straps or real western boots
3. Standing at an entry point to the dance floor
4. Sitting on an aisle stool or some other accessible place
5. Making eye contacting and smiling
6. Breathing

Look to those who are flashy, trashy or drunk for after-hours amusement, not dancing.  For dance partners, find people with open, sunny faces who smile a lot when they dance.  Drawing most attention are those who either dance with a variety of partners – probably the regulars – or ones who line dance enthusiastically – probably the newcomers.  Looking sad, preoccupied or desperate discourages others from attempting to penetrate your cloud.

Women can ask men to dance at a country dance hall.  Therefore, each individual chooses for himself or herself whether to watch or dance.  Cowboys relish both the notion that they might get asked to dance and the idea that the ladies can appreciate the courage it takes to ask.

If you wish to state your availability to dance, then ask an old coot to dance.  It will show you off to great advantage.  Plus, older partners usually have more refined people skills and more dance-focused social agenda.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

I have seen the signs and I believe them to be true!

I have traveled all across this country and dance with people from every state and a few foreign countries too.  The Wanna Dance Signals are very universal.  They work just as well in Asheville, NC as they do Las Vegas, NV.  Ballroom dances, swing dances, night clubs and dance halls all have women and men who are there to dance… you just have to see the signals. 

Leaders, if she is breathing and at a dance, trust me, she is there to dance.  She really wants to dance if she sits near the edge of the dance floor or has learned to lead and is dancing with other women.  Even if all you know is how to East Coast Swing, an open partner will be happy to dance with you.

Too timid to consider dancing?

With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn at your own pace and where you feel most comfortable… at home in your kitchen or living room. Learn simple and easy East Coast Swing dance moves in your own home, before venturing out to a club, party, or dance.  Then you can take the free dance lesson at the ballroom dance or swing party with more confidence.  Once your confidence grows, you will be able to take what you have learned from ZeDiamond Dance Method and use it as a tool with while learning other dances.

If you ever find me at a dance in Asheville, NC or anywhere else in the world, please ask me to dance.  I promise I will say yes at least once.  Ballroom dance, swing dance, country western dance… it doesn’t matter – I”M HERE TO DANCE!   I WANNA DANCE!!! 

I look forward to seeing you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

We all think that we have a great sense of humor and rhythm…

Well, not all of us have a great sense of rhythm.  Luckily, learning straight timing and simple rhythm patterns can be learned.  If you learned to count as a child and can still count as an adult, then a sense of “straight time” can be taught to you.  It happens everyday… all around the the world.  And it can happen to you too!

Straight time… “Hip to be Square!” – Huey Lewis and the News

If you clap on the 2 and the 4 to music on the radio (okay, sometimes you may slip and clap on the 1 and 3), then you are a victim of straight time.  Much of the pop music on the radio today is written with some common similarities.  Music written in common time, has 4 beats in a measure.  If we lined the beats up in a pretty little row, they would be evenly spaced and very regular, just like a child counting…

1   2   3   4

When you snap, clap or bob you head to the music, you tend to do it on the 2 and the 4 and pause on the 1 and 3.

Sometimes, musicians like to use more than just the basic 4 counts in a measure.  They like to use the space between the counts as well. In the spaces, we will put an “and”. The ”ands” tend to be noted with a “+”.  So now our little row of regular spaced numbers looks like this.

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 +

Now there is a little more variety for the musicians.  While we still clap on the 2 and the 4, the musicians are allowed to use any of the 4 counts and the spaces between counts to express themselves.  Everything is still very regularly spaced and even in time.

“It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” – Ivie Anderson

Swing timing does things a little differently than straight timing.  Swing and Jazz musicians like to use the space between the + and the count.  The space between the  + and the count is called “ah” or noted simply as “a”.  So now our pretty little row of numbers is not so balanced and square. 

 1  +a2  +a3  +a4

To really make it swing, the musicians take out the +’s and use the counts and the a’s.  Now things are really starting to swing.

1   a2   a3   a4

See how everything isn’t evenly spaced anymore.  With swing timing, musicians have even more interesting possibilities than in straight timing.  A popular swing or jazz rhythm you may have heard is “leg-a-lamb”.  You may hear this familiar pattern when a drummer taps a cymbal rhythmically through out a song.

1      a2           3      a4
leg-a-Lamb  leg-a-Lamb

What does this trip to “Mathmagic Land” have to do with dancing?

Music is very mathmatical.  It has order, time, patterns and a lot of fractions… 2 beats, 1 beat, half beats, quarter beats…. You may start to think that you need a degree in Applied Physics in order to ballroom dance or swing dance in time to the music.  Not so my friend.  There is an easier way than doing all this math in your head.

Boom-a-Boom  Boom-a-Boom Tah-Tee

If you have ever struggled to teach yourself to play a popular song on the piano, you know it is just easier to sing the words to the music on the radio.  So why worry about all the math and just sing this little song in your head instead? 

ZeDiamond Dance Method makes it easy to understand rhythm and timing for dances and music by doing what comes naturally.  You will forget about the math, and feel the music in your body while using Boom-a-Boom to help you keep time.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method you will learn how to  dance ballroom or swing steps, while learning proper rhythm and timing.  This will make you a better dancer, right from the start!

East Coast Swing is made up of triples and rock-steps.  “Boom-a-Boom” is the equivilant of “Leg-a-Lamb” and those are our triples.  “Tah-Tee” represents the rock steps.  To watch a video the shows the ZeDiamond Dance Method in action, click here.

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a revolutionary new way to learn to dance.  It was created by Deborah-Marie Diamond and Zeki Maviyildiz.  Both are drummers and dancers in Asheville, NC.  

Many drummers are taught rhythm patterns by using nonsense syllables to replace counts. Many times, these nonsense syllables are easier to say than the numbers and counts they represent.  Walk up to a drummer and say “leg-a-Lamb” and they will understand the rhythm pattern it represents. 

Deborah-Marie and Zeki are doing the same thing, but for East Coast Swing Dancers in the Asheville, NC area with Boom-a-Boom. Click here, and you will learn the history of ZeDiamond Dance Method and get the whole story.  Click here to watch Deborah-Marie and Zeki dance East Coast Swing together.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes
ZeDiamond Dance Method