Archive for the ‘Dance Etiquette’ Category

The hunt is on!  We’re hunting for dance partners…

It is time, once again to talk dance etiquette.  Just learning how to dance lots of steps or having tons of swing dance moves isn’t enought to keep you swing dancing all night.  There is more to having lots of dance partners than just being the best east coast swing dancer in the room.  There is a proper way to ask someone for a dance, to decline and to accept a dance.  But we don’t need to worry about those things quite yet.  Because first we need to find someone we feel open to dancing with and hope they are open to dancing with us. 

Paul McClure is here to give us advise on scouting for dance partners.  The following is from his book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”.  I know that it is written from a country dance hall perspective, but it holds true at swing parties, ballroom dances and at a nightclub dance as well.

Scouting

“When you’re ready to ask someone to dance, look for prospects flashing Wanna Dance Signals. Some are intentional and some are inadvertent, but all indicate readiness to dance.

HIS WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Taking the free dance lesson
2. Removing hat, slicking down hair, putting hat back on
3. Spitting out tobacco plug
4. Munching popcorn in time to music
5. Popping Tic Tacs
6. Persuading friends to bet him that he won’t ask anybody to dance

 HER WANNA DANCE SIGNALS

1. Vigorous line dancing
2. Wearing shoes with straps or real western boots
3. Standing at an entry point to the dance floor
4. Sitting on an aisle stool or some other accessible place
5. Making eye contacting and smiling
6. Breathing

Look to those who are flashy, trashy or drunk for after-hours amusement, not dancing.  For dance partners, find people with open, sunny faces who smile a lot when they dance.  Drawing most attention are those who either dance with a variety of partners – probably the regulars – or ones who line dance enthusiastically – probably the newcomers.  Looking sad, preoccupied or desperate discourages others from attempting to penetrate your cloud.

Women can ask men to dance at a country dance hall.  Therefore, each individual chooses for himself or herself whether to watch or dance.  Cowboys relish both the notion that they might get asked to dance and the idea that the ladies can appreciate the courage it takes to ask.

If you wish to state your availability to dance, then ask an old coot to dance.  It will show you off to great advantage.  Plus, older partners usually have more refined people skills and more dance-focused social agenda.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

I have seen the signs and I believe them to be true!

I have traveled all across this country and dance with people from every state and a few foreign countries too.  The Wanna Dance Signals are very universal.  They work just as well in Asheville, NC as they do Las Vegas, NV.  Ballroom dances, swing dances, night clubs and dance halls all have women and men who are there to dance… you just have to see the signals. 

Leaders, if she is breathing and at a dance, trust me, she is there to dance.  She really wants to dance if she sits near the edge of the dance floor or has learned to lead and is dancing with other women.  Even if all you know is how to East Coast Swing, an open partner will be happy to dance with you.

Too timid to consider dancing?

With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn at your own pace and where you feel most comfortable… at home in your kitchen or living room. Learn simple and easy East Coast Swing dance moves in your own home, before venturing out to a club, party, or dance.  Then you can take the free dance lesson at the ballroom dance or swing party with more confidence.  Once your confidence grows, you will be able to take what you have learned from ZeDiamond Dance Method and use it as a tool with while learning other dances.

If you ever find me at a dance in Asheville, NC or anywhere else in the world, please ask me to dance.  I promise I will say yes at least once.  Ballroom dance, swing dance, country western dance… it doesn’t matter – I”M HERE TO DANCE!   I WANNA DANCE!!! 

I look forward to seeing you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Amy and Jason Barnes cutting a rug

In the beginning, you are taught East Coast Swing steps…

As a beginner dancer, you attend social dances, how to dance workshops, use ZeDiamond Dance Method and may even take private lessons with an instructor on your journey to learn how to swing dance.  You work hard to learn East Coast Swing dance steps and swing dance moves.  You watch dance videos and DVD’s at home and practice in your kitchen.  You dream of the day when you will wow your friends with your new found swing dance skills on the dance floor.  However, in the rush of learning how to be a better East Coast Swing dancer, sometimes learning dance etiquette for around the dance floor, gets lost in the shuffle.  It doesn’t matter how great an East Coast Swing dancer you are, or how many swing dance moves you know, without the proper etiquette, you will get lost in social situations and miss out on dancing with others.

 In a previous blog, I introduced you to my favorite dance book, “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette.”  Though this book was written with a country dance perspective, I find it very relevant in other dance venues.  McClure’s dance etiquette is not limited to country bars and wearers of blue jeans with cowboy hats.  Swing dancers, ballroom dancers and nightclub dancers would all benefit from McClure’s wisdom.  McClure uses humor and honesty to deliver some much-needed lessons in etiquette to the dance community.  Some of my favorite pieces of advice are the “Cowboy Commandments.”  These commandments are focused actually on behavior off the dance floor.  They are wonderful suggestions, because people decide who to ask to dance based on what happens both on and off the dance floor.  A social etiquette mishap off the dance floor can be harder to forgive that stepped on toes during an East Coast Swing.

 I have used and taught these commandments over the years.  I look forward to sharing them with you now.

 Nine Cowboy Commandments – Originals by Paul McClure with revisions by Amy Barnes

1. Thou shalt brush thy teeth and put on a fresh shirt before leaving home.  Nobody has ever been turned down for a dance because they had fresh breath or had on a clean smelling shirt.  Use all the deodorant you want, but go light on the perfume and aftershave.  Plus, if anyone offers you a mint, take it.  Please, Take The Mint!
2. Thou shalt stay sober, but patronize and tip.  If you drink, please remember, “After one, I can feel it.  After two, my dance partners can feel it.  After three, even the dance floor can feel it.  I better sit down.”  Please, don’t forget your wait staff.  Just because you sipped water and ate popcorn all night, doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to keep you happy.
3. Thou shalt take the initiative to begin conversation.  Conversations are two-way communication.  Ask the other person questions and then give them a chance to talk.
4. Thou shalt offer a conversation topic during introductions.  When meeting new people, skip long and elaborate stories, discussion of medical conditions and personal histories of heart break.
5. Thou shalt give compliments, not advice, when dancing.  You have just been asked to dance a social East Coast Swing, not a give private lesson on proper swing dance technique.  There is something even in the worst dance of the night to compliment.
6. Thou shalt say “Ma’ma”, “Sir”, “Please” and “Thank you” at every possible opportunity.  Make your mother proud.  Always thank your partner for the dance.
7. Thou shalt not press attention without reciprocity.  Take small steps.  If reciprocity occurs to a minor display of interest, then anther step is appropriate.  When your ministrations go unrequited, you both tactfully forget there was an overture in the first place.
8. Thou shalt avoid any term which is slang for any part of the female body.  Rule of thumb, avoid talking about people’s bodies in general, outside of references to dance frame.
9. Thou shalt emulate Randolph Scott.  We all have role models.  Find one that exudes easygoing charm, good manners and is respected by the community.  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers also work well. 

You do not have to be the best dancer at the swing party to be the most desired dance partner there. 

Follow the Nine Cowboy Commandments and you will find much success in the social circles of the next dance party you attend.

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Some of the best tips to improve your dancing, are not learned on the dance floor.

When I first started dancing, I had the pleasure of attending the Country Dance World Championships.  At my first “Worlds”, I did not know very much.  I could dance East Coast Swing, a little West Coast Swing, Waltz and Two-Step.  But I was very much still learning how to dance. I wanted to be a better dancer, so I took lots of workshops in swing dancing, country dancing and line dancing.  So many workshops in fact that my brain felt like it turned to mush, but I kept on dancing.  But, the lessons that have stayed with me all these years I did not learn out on the dance floor or in a learn how to dance workshop.

 At every dance event, whether it is swing, country, Latin or a ballroom dance event, there is a flyer table.  This table is full of business cards for dance instructors, fliers for upcoming dance events and dance workshops, and other information that promotes dancing to the community.  At this particular Worlds, there was something unusual on the flier table.  There was a small stack of paperback books.  “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette” was the title of book.  The lessons within this book have served me well over the years.  McClure’s wit is sharp, funny and honest while Craig George’s illustrations accent the points of etiquette perfectly.  Though the book was written with a country dance focus, much of it also is relevant in swing dancing and ballroom dancing and other social dancing venues.

 Over the years, I have changed and adapted these rules of etiquette to fit the dance and life situation I currently find myself in.  I have also taught these rules of etiquette in group lessons and private lessons with my dance students.  And now, lucky reader and ZeDiamond Dance Method dancer, I share them with you.

The Eight Dance Commandments – Originals by Paul McClure with revisions by Amy Barnes

1. Thou shalt dance at they partner’s level of comfort and ability.  Remember, dancing is about teamwork and partnership and nobody likes to be left in the dust or drug through the mud on or off the dance floor.
2. Thou shalt dance as if thou hast no thumbs.  Leaders, your thumbs hurt when they clamp down on the backs of your follower’s hands.  Followers, stop using lobster claws to hold on to your leaders.
3. Thou shalt leave the fast lane when moving slowly down the line of dance.  Slower dancers move to the inside track and let the faster dancers progress past you on the outside track.
4. Thou shalt always remember how it felt to be a beginner.  Remember, we were all beginner dancers at one time.  Always be kind, because we are all still learning and all of us can improve.
5. Thou shalt leave Four-Count Swing to Texas A & M alumni.  There is a time and a place for every dance.  Just because you know a dance, doesn’t mean you are going to dance it tonight.  Don’t get upset if the DJ at an “Any Swing Goes” party, doesn’t play your request for a Polka, stick to East Coast Swing.
6. Thou shalt not West Coast Swing in the midst of line dancers or East Coast Swing in the midst of Quick Step traffic.  If the DJ announces a particular dance at the beginning of a song, that dance has the right of way.  Respect the space and right of way of other dancers.  Every dancer likes a little bubble of space around them to prevent collision with other dancers.  If you are doing a stationary dance, take it to the center of the dance floor so more progressive dancers can go around the room without weaving around you.
7. Thou shalt ask at least one wallflower to dance each night.  Everyone likes to be asked to dance, but some people are uncomfortable asking others to dance.  I remember being a new dancer at a swing dance… dying to dance, praying someone would ask me.  Remember what it was like for you at your first few dances and ask a newbie to dance.
8. Thou shalt ask permission to polish thy partner’s belt buckle.  Face it, the person who is dancing with you, may not want to dance that close to you.  Give your partner the space they desire.  This also applies off the dance floor.

This list of dance commandments has helped me negotiate my way around many a dance floor successfully. 

I have taken them with me to swing dances, country-dances, ballroom dances and into a few bars and night clubs and delighted many a dance partner and onlooker.  Respect is a hard thing to earn back, once lost in the dance community. 

By following these dance commandments, you will be treating others they way they want to be treated and in return, they will treat you to many dances.

 See you out on the dance floor,

 Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method