Archive for the ‘Dance Etiquette’ Category

Benefits of Learning to Ballroom and Swing Dance

Learning to dance can have a number of benefits for school age children and adults.  The benefits of learning how to dance reach far beyond just learning dance steps.  Benefits of dance include:

• Improve health through exercise, development of coordination, and increase muscle tone
• Decrease in anxiety, fear and stress by giving a physical outlet to release tension while generating good feelings by being with others
• Increase self-awareness, creativity, self-expression and new ways of thinking and doing
• Learn to work together with a partner to accomplish goals and achieve higher success
• Create powerful social and emotional bonds by moving students out of isolation and create a team environment where everyone is a key player
• Improve self-esteem, body image issues, depression, attentiveness, focus and communication skills
• Stay calm and grounded to better face life’s challenges

Life Lessons in Ballroom and Swing Dancing

I think there are many life lessons inadvertently taught while students are learning to dance.  Some are comical like:

• “Ladies start with the right foot because the lady is always right!’
• “Ballroom dancing’s line of dance is like NASCAR… Drive fast and turn left.”
• “He’s leading, so what ever happens is his fault.  Now that he knows that ladies, you don’t have to tell him.”
• “There are no mistakes… only variations.”

Others help you in social situations:

• “Guys, as long as she is still smiling, you are doing okay.”
• “It is better to make a decision and lead a mistake then make no decision and send mixed signals.  Nobody can follow mixed signals.”
• “Keep going!  As long as your feet keep moving, you are still dancing.  You don’t stop until the music does.”
• “Leading is the combination of inviting the lady to go somewhere and than getting out of her way so she can get there.”

But, I think Robert summed it up beautifully:

“Dancing is moving to the music without stepping on anyone’s toes, pretty much the same as life. ”

  ~Robert Brault 

At ZeDiamond Dance Method, we have a simple mission:

“We are a collection of Drummers, Dancers, Teachers and Cultural Creatives who inspire peace and joy while developing connection, groundedness and inner rhythms through the teachings of ZeDiamond Dance Method.”

We know there are great benefits to learning how to dance… other than learning how to dance and staying off your partner’s toes.  Dance has brought a richness and fullness to my life that I don’t think I would have found otherwise.  Every time I accept an invitation dance or help a student learning a new step, I know I am adding something to their lives too.   

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Last night, my husband and I had dinner with my parents and handful of other local ballroom dancers.  My mother was telling the story of how she grew-up ballroom dancing and taught my sister and myself how to ballroom dance in the kitchen and living room while we were growing up.  I piped up that I had written a blog about learning to dance from Mom.  Others at the table chimed in that they enjoyed reading my blogs.  Then my dad looked at me and asked, “Have you blogged about me yet?”  Okay Dad, this one is about you.

Dads and Dancing - Do they mix?

Growing up, I only saw my father exhibit two styles of dancing, slow dancing and the Twist.  Both were usually done in the kitchen, while cooking with music on.  Mom was always there for the slow dance, but the Twist could happen at any time with anyone.  Up until 2007, that was the only dancing I ever saw come out of him. 

In 2007 some big changes happened.  My parents, my husband and I all moved to Asheville, NC.  For the first time since I moved away for college, I was living within a handful of miles from my parents.  Jason and I were also planning our wedding back in Minnesota.  A wedding full of dancing, thrown by swing and ballroom dancers and attended by lots and lots of swing and ballroom dancing friends and family.  Did I mention that there was going to be Swing and Ballroom dancing at the wedding?

The entire wedding reception was focused on dancing.  We rented Cinema Ballroom in Saint Paul to host the big reception swing dance party.  We served finger foods and mini desserts rather than a sit down dinner because we wanted more time for dancing.  But there was one little detail about the reception that was making me nervous… The Father/Daughter Dance.

As a rule, my dad did not dance outside of that kitchen.  I was even told by my mom that they almost didn’t go to Prom because my father disliked dancing that much.  What was I going to do?  I started pleading with my dad, “Just learn 3 little Waltz patterns.  That’s all I ask.  I just want to dance a simple Waltz with you at the wedding.”

Dance Lessons with Dad

Dad ordered an instructional ballroom dance DVD off the Internet and started working through it with Mom.  Mom was happy to be dancing again.  But the big test was learning how to dance with me.  After a few private dance lessons, I was very impressed with Dad and his new found dancing ability.  And the funny thing was, he was starting to enjoy dancing.  He enjoyed it so much, he learned more than just the 3 little Waltz patterns that I wanted him to learn.  That night, at the wedding reception dance, he and I waltzed all the way around the big floor.  It was just as I had dreamed.  He smiled his proud smile at me.  He turned me every time the song lyrics said “turn around”.  My mom cried a little.  It was perfect.  He was dancing with me and we were loving it.

Dancing for life

After the wedding, my parents started taking beginner group ballroom dance lessons.  And Dad loved it.  He took my mom out dancing.  They went to weekend ballroom dances.  Dad was officially wearing Mom out on the dance floor. 

“You have created a monster,” my mother told me one day.  “And the monster’s favorite dance is Cha Cha!”

Though things have slowed down for them, I think they are still dancing and enjoying each other.  Most of their dancing is in the kitchen and living room now… but it has evolved to higher level than the Twist.  By learning to dance, Dad made two women, who love him, very happy.  And he did not know he was going to like dancing so much!!!

Can your dad learn to dance?

You bet he can!!!  He can learn to dance with you, at home by dancing along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing can be your first dance lesson with Dad, right in the comfort of your own home. 

Do you live in the Asheville, NC area?  You, Dad and the entire wedding party can take dance lessons together at our Wedding Inspired Dance Lessons.  Come join us and other brides and grooms as we prepare you to dance beautifully on your wedding night, your honeymoon and the rest of your lives.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

There are numerous reasons why people learn to ballroom dance… 

Some are looking for low impact and fun exercise.  Others are looking for a creative outlet to express themselves.  And we can’t forget those who are at the dance lesson to hopefully meet someone, friendship or otherwise.  With whatever goal we have, as we walk into the ballroom dance lesson, we tend to fulfill it and get so much more.  Something happens to us during the dance lesson.  We do learn dance steps… We do learn dance rhythms… We do get to dance with lots of partners (if you rotate partners – and I think you should!)… But is something also changing inside of us?  Does learning to ballroom dance make you a better person? 

Over the years, I have met lots of people though ballroom and swing dancing.  I have watched them grow and change as they learn to dance.  Someone who was mild and meek can learn to embrace themselves and find self confidence that they did not know they had until they stepped out on the dance floor.  That self confidence grows from the dance and spills out into their daily life.  On the other hand, I have seen great egos tumble and fall in ballroom dance lessons to be replaced with a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate partners who have learned the lesson of cooperation and have given up the need to be “RIGHT” all the time.

Can Rhythm, Music and Dancing heal us?

This May, the 21st Annual International Trauma Conference, is featuring workshops on psychological trauma.  One of the workshops offered is titled “Rhythms and their role in Brain Development, Attachment, Companionship and Trauma.”  Here is the quick information on the workshop. 

“Rhythms and music inspire human beings to move and experience their world, their bodies, and one another. Both originate in brain structures and connections involved in moving and feeling, and they guide behavior with a goal-defining sense of purpose and creativity. Intelligent perception, learning, and a sense of sympathy and cooperation in meaning between humans depend on this spontaneous, self-regulating brain activity. Physical imitation, resonance, and mirroring form the foundations of human relatedness. Shared feelings of companionship determine how we acquire knowledge, skills, and the self-confidence to share them.

Disturbances of early communication interfere with the development of interpersonal intelligence, disturb the development of secure and affectionate relationships, and impair learning of cultural meaning, bringing shame. This workshop will explore the nature of these rhythmical and musical interactions, and how the re-establishment of one’s capacity for rhythmicity and musicality offers ways to re-establish a secure sense of self, recognition of others, and joyful appreciation.”

Ballroom and Swing Dancing must be therapeutic

Wow, rhythms and music can do all that!!!  I thought we were just learning dance steps in ballroom dance lessons.  Dance classes can teach us far more than just how to ballroom dance.

I do believe that learning to dance makes us better people.  We learn so much about ourselves and our partners out on the dance floor.  And it seems that we don’t even need to become great dancers to learn these lessons.  Just being in the space, taking the time to listen to the music, to feel the rhythms and then connect with someone else has a very therapeutic quality to it.  Ballroom dancing helps to heal us, balance us and gives us more benefits than we could ever hope for.

What do you say?  Want to take a turn around the dance floor with me?  We both will be better for it.

See you on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

An hour or so before we need to leave, I cry from the closet, “Honey, what are we going to wear?”

You can almost hear the eyes rolling in my husbands head.  “Whatever you want,” is the response I get on most days, which really doesn’t help me that much.  Without fail, the holy grail of outfits is either wet and still in the washer or dry, but lost somewhere in a pile of dirty clothes.

Now mind you, I am sure I make this a lot harder than it needs to be.  My husband and I are one of those “Matchy Matchy” couples.  We are our own accessories.  You will rarely see one of us in jeans and the other in dress pants.  We dress at the same level of formality and usually in the same color scheme.  We do have matching shirts and for the shirts that don’t match, my husband has ties that match my shirts. 

So why am I a mess?  With pregnancy and growing bellies comes a whole new outlook on wardrobing.  My wardrobe has also gotten much smaller in the past weeks.  I don’t fit in many of our matching outfits anymore.  Plus, different events call for different levels of formality in dressing.   You thought learning to dance was the hard part?  Finding the right outfit to wear to the dance is the next challenge.

As you enter the world of ballroom and swing dance, you will notice that not all events have the same level of formality or dress code.  Gala Balls have a different dress code than practice parties.  Theme parties and dances (WHICH I LOVE) require a little more thought and preparation than weeknight group classes.  Below is an excerpt from “Elements of Dance Etiquette” by Aria Nosratinia.   Aria has provided a wonderful guide to the various levels of formality that you find in the dance world.  Aria has also provided tips on dressing for comfort and safety… a must for all dancers

What to Wear?

Protocol:

The more formal the dance, the more formal the outfit. For example, if you are invited to a formal charity ball, anything less than a tuxedo for men or ball gown for women would be inappropriate. On the other hand, at a dance lesson at your local studio, there is usually no need to dress formally.

This is not as hard as it may seem; a little common sense goes a long way. Also, if in doubt, follow the crowd! See what others do and follow suit. If all else fails, you can always ask the dance organizers about the dress code.

Below I give a guideline and explanation for dress code, which you may see on invitations and announcements, as well as a general idea of what to wear at different dance venues.

• White tie: White tie is the most formal category of dressing. For the gentleman, it means a black tailcoat with matching trousers trimmed by ribbon of braid or satin on the outside of each trouser leg, a white pique’ tie, white pique’ single or double-breasted vest, and a wing-collar shirt with a stiff pique’ front. White gloves are nice optional accessories for gentlemen. The lady appears in a ball gown, which is an evening dress with a full skirt, possibly with open back and low neck line. Elbow-length gloves are a nice addition for the lady.
•  Black tie: Gentlemen in black tuxedo coat, trousers trimmed with satin ribbon along the outside of the legs, cummerband and bow tie. The phrase “black tie” does not refer to the color of the tie. In fact colorful ties (with matching cummerbands) are very popular. Ladies appear in ball gowns.
•  Black tie optional: Same as above, except gentlemen have the option of wearing a regular suit with a tie (bow tie preferred), and ladies wear a cocktail gown or dinner dress. Long to full-length skirts are preferred; short skirts are not recommended.
•  Formal: Gentlemen in suit and tie (nowadays a sport coat is often an acceptable replacement for a full suit), ladies in cocktail gown or evening dress.
•  Semi-formal: Gentlemen in dress slacks with dress shirt and tie, jacket is optional. Other options include a vest or a sweater that shows the tie. At the lower end of formality, these events can be attended without a tie, e.g. with a turtleneck and jacket. Ladies in evening dress or dinner dress, but other chic outfits are also acceptable (like flowing pants, etc.)
•  Dressy Casual: Applies to most practice dances, workshops, and dance lessons. Gentlemen can wear coton slacks with solid color T-shirt, turtleneck, mock turtleneck, or polo shirt. Ladies have a much wider set of clothing options. Use your imagination and sense of fashion. In general this is a conservative and toned-down appearance that has grown increasingly popular on the dance floors. Don’t forget your dance shoes!
•  Country/Western: Country western attire has variations across the country, but generally it is acceptable to go in blue or black jeans (not stone-washed) and cowboy boots. Make sure that the boots will not mark the dance floor. If you wear a hat, it may be a good idea to take it off when going on the floor. Note that country western folks can be very sensitive about their hats. It is improper to touch or otherwise handle someone’s hat, even if it sits on a table. For a lady to pick up and put on a gentleman’s hat is considered very flirtatious.
•  Milongas: (Argentine Tango) For both ladies and gentlemen, black or dark themes are preferred.
•  Latin: This refers to venues that specialize in Salsa, Merengue, Cumbia, etc. For gentlemen, any button-up shirt, solid T-shirt or mock turtleneck, dress slacks, and dance shoes. Jackets are nice, but a vest can be even more stylish. Unlike most other dance venues, bright and colorful outfits for gentlemen are acceptable, although dark themes are more common. Ladies can (and often do) wear sexy outfits: both short skirts and longer slit skirts are popular. Low necklines and exposed midriffs are not uncommon.
•  Swing: There are no strict rules for swing outfits. Both the Gentleman and the Lady wear outfits that are reasonably neat and chic, although often not very formal. Many types of swing are fast-paced and athletic, so wearing suitable clothing is essential. For example, the Lady would be well advised to stay away from short, tight skirts. See also the next section on Comfort and Safety. A cute trend, especially in Lindy Hop circles, is to wear vintage outfits from the 1930’s and 40’s. But this is not done everywhere and is not at all a requirement.

Comfort and safety:

Wear clothing that makes it easy and enjoyable to dance, both for yourself and your partner.

• Regardless of how informal the dance is, always wear dance shoes. Do not wear sneakers or other shoes with rubber or spongy soles. They can stick to the floor during turns and spins and cause ankle and knee injuries.
•  Avoid sleeveless shirts and strapped dresses, especially for active dancing: It is not pleasant to have to touch the damp skin of a partner.
•  Sleeves that are baggy or cut low in the armpit are not a good idea, especially in Latin and swing dancing, because dancers need access to partner’s back, and hands may get caught in baggy sleeves.
•  Accessories like big rings, watches, brooches, loose/long necklaces, and big belt buckles can be dangerous. They can catch in partner’s clothing, scratch and bruise.
•  Gentlemen: if you have no place to leave your keys and loose change, carry them in the *left* pocket of your trousers. This makes it less likely to bruise your partner.
•  Long hair should be put up or tied in a pony tail. It is difficult to get into closed dance position when the lady has long flowing hair (hair gets caught in gentleman’s right hand). It is also not fun to be hit in the face with flying hair during turns and spins. “

Excerpt from ”Elements of Dance Etiquette” byAria Nosratinia
http://www.utdallas.edu/~aria/dance/etiquette.html#Groom 

The Excuse to get Dressed-Up

Many times, people learn to dance so they have an excuse to get dressed-up and get out of the house.  Whether it is “date night” for a couple, a way to meet local single people in your community, or just an excuse to wear fabulous clothes, learning to dance can open all kinds of social doors as well as wardrobe and closet doors for you too. 

I know there are people out there that just don’t want to get dressed up.  They are content to wear sweat pants, dirty jeans, track suits, or yoga wear 24/7.  Many use the lack of clothing in their closets as a reason not to take dance classes or learn how to dance.  Just because everyone is wearing a ballgown in the movies, doesn’t mean everyone wears a ballgown to the Friday night dance.  Expensive costumes are not required to enjoy yourself out on the dance floor.

With ZeDiamond Dance Method, you don’t need to worry about what you are going to wear.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing 2 DVD set, you will be learning to swing dance in the privacy of your own home.  You can wear what ever you feel most comfortable in.  Socks, Pajamas, ratty old chinos, and denim shirts are perfect for learning how to swing dance at home.  Once you gain confidence in you new found dance skills, you may feel more comfortable getting a little spruced up and going out to a swing party or ballroom dance.

Click here to watch a video clip from ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.  The students in the class are college kids and are dressed as such.  Do you think they are going to let a little thing like clothing come between them and good time out swing dancing with friends?  I think not.  You should not either.

So ignore the wet and dirty clothing, like I have.  Find a clean pair of black pants, a bright colored shirt and go out and have a great time.  Even though I learned to ballroom dance just so I had an excuse to wear a ballgown, I am lucky if I wear my ballgown twice a year.  But my black swing pants have taken me everywhere else I have wanted to go dancing in Asheville, NC and all over the country. 

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

I want to continue our discussion on personal improvement.  We all now know why our shoes stink.  But there are other concerns that still keep us socially awkward at swing parties and ballroom dances.

You know me, I’m a stickler for dance etiquette.  I don’t need to be the best East Coast Swing dancer in the room.  But when I dance with someone, I do have a goal.  It’s not to out dance my partner or show everyone how cool I am.  My goal is for my partner to end the dance with a smile on their face and thinking, “I really enjoyed that.  Swing dancing with her is fun.”  Mind you,  I have the same expectation for my dance partner.  I want to end the dance smiling after enjoying dancing with them too.

But every so often, you dance with a “Sketchy Guy” or a “Sketchy Girl”.  After dancing with a sketchy dancer, it can be very hard to walk away with a smile on your face.  Many times, it is hard to enjoy dancing with a sketchy dancer.

 We have all been guilty of the behaviors bellow.  We have all done things that can be thought of as “sketchy”.  But what we need to do, is recognize our sketchiness, laugh at it, learn from it and then stop doing it.  Nobody wants to be described as “You know, that sketchy swing dancer, over there.”

Please enjoy the musings of Richard Powers.  Richard has been teaching contemporary and historic social dance for over thirty years.  He leads workshops around the world and is currently a full-time instructor at Stanford University’s Dance Division.

“This is a touchy topic because I don’t want to speak dismissively of anyone who loves to dance.  However it’s an important topic to many women who complain about “sketchy guys” at dances, so that makes it worth discussing.

What is a sketchy guy?

“OK, that’s a sexist term.  So let’s say that any woman who acts this way is a “sketchy girl.”  But somehow we see more males than females behaving this way on the dance floor.

A sketchy guy is…

1) Any man who is physically rough with his partner, who hauls his partner though steps and figures.

As you already know… a good lead knows and cares what is comfortable for his partner.  He cares what is pleasurable or fun for her, as opposed to just showing off, or using her as an accessory to his ego.

A considerate man dances for his partner’s ability and comfort; sketchy guys don’t.

A good lead clearly suggests an option, which is different from controlling her.  He proposes, not prescribes, a certain way of moving to his partner.  If his partner does not go with his proposal (does not ‘follow’), he adapts to her motion instead of exerting more power to press her to accept the proposal.

But guys, don’t be so afraid of seeming sketchy that your leads become wimpy.  Leads are physical, and your partner depends on clear leads.  If the physicality of the lead/follow connection is on a scale of one-to-ten, avoid 0 and 1 (wimpy); avoid 9 and 10 (physically rough).

2) A man who corrects his partner.

Have you ever danced with one of these guys?  Often the first thing he does when he begins a dance is correct his partner!  “You’re doing it wrong. You have to do it this way.”  Yikes!

The clear message to most women is that he’s doing this to exert absolute control at the beginning of their dance.  It’s his way of establishing dominance, saying in effect, “This is NOT a conversation and you don’t have a voice when dancing with me, so shut up and do as you’re told.”

To be fair, this may not be his actual intent.  Maybe his teacher gave him the misguided impression that he should correct his partners if they dance differently from the Only One Way he knows.  But regardless of his intent, a correcting attitude feels disrespectful to her, so men be forwarned that she may not want to dance with you again.

A correcting attitude is usually either  (A) antisocially pedantic  or  (B) it demonstrates his inexperience, showing her that he only knows one way to dance (or only one style, or one kind of dance hold/frame).  If he thinks, “Oh I know other ways, but I think they’re all wrong,” then he’s the first version, antisocially pedantic.

An only-one-way attitude is also unrealistic.  How can anyone not understand that dancers come in different shapes, sizes and experience?  Each partner has had different teachers.  Or maybe they just picked up dancing on the fly, by diving in and seeing what works.  Different doesn’t mean wrong.  When someone has a different style from your own, try to find ways to make dancing functional, fun and social.

Women aren’t exempt from this consideration.  When a woman exhibits a correcting attitude, it’s just as bad as when a man does it.

Exceptions:  Correcting is okay of it’s to let one’s partner know if they’re hurting you, “driving dangerously” on the dance floor, or if your partner actually asks you for advice or feedback.  Some dancers do request feedback and help from their partners, so if your partner requests feedback, then yes, it’s fine and even appreciated.

3) A man who tries to pick up a woman on the dance floor.

It’s smart to assume that women come to a dance to dance, not to find a date.  If there’s an exception, she’ll find a way to let you know, but the default assumption is that she came to have fun dancing. 

    a) Don’t ask her for a date (unless she initiates or hints at it).
    b) Don’t ask the same woman for several dances unless she lets you know she wants more dances with you.
    c) If she says no to a dance, then no means no.  Period.  Don’t pester her.

Some scenes may be exceptions to this.  Some salseros have told me that their salsa club is essentially a pick-up club, and that everyone going there knows this.  OK, if that’s the understanding at a dance, fine.  But the inviolable part of this section is: if she says no, respect her wishes and don’t pester her.

4) Stinky guys (and women).

It’s amazing that some people haven’t learned the essential social skill of hygiene.  Always shower, brush your teeth, floss and use deodorant before going out dancing, including to dance classes.  And if you tend to get really sweaty, you get huge bonus points for bringing a second dry shirt to change into halfway through the dance.

Women, please don’t wear perfumes (or colognes for men) to a social dance.  Most people don’t consider it very sociable, and some have allergies to fragrances.

“Sketchy” isn’t a textbook definition, so opinions about the term vary.  Some people consider stinky dancers sketchy, while others say, “No, it’s not sketchy, it’s just disgusting.”  OK, but either way it’s not a good thing.

Who isn’t a sketchy guy?

1) My pet peeve is a few undergrad students who call a grad student “sketchy” simply because he’s a few years older.  No, being a different age doesn’t make someone sketchy, especially if he’s a good dancer and an attentive, respectful partner.

2) A man or woman with “emerging social skills” isn’t necessarily sketchy.  Everyone has to learn somewhere.  If you don’t know how to respond to someone’s social awkwardness, err on the side of patience and encouragement.  They will appreciate your kindness more than you realize!

Bottom line:

In an age of increasing divisiveness, we should try to be more tolerant and accepting of differences of any kind.  But roughness, disrespect and predatory behavior is sketchy, and isn’t welcome at a social dance.”

Excerpt from “Sketchy Guys” Musing by Richard Powers
http://socialdance.stanford.edu/syllabi/sketchy.htm

How to avoid being “Sketchy”

First, we must quickly define communication.  Communication isn’t just sending a message.  True communication happens when a message is sent, received, interpreted and responded to.  In order to communicate with someone, you must also be connected to them, otherwise, they never receive your message.  One can see how dancing is often the result of good communication between partners.  He communicates through his lead… she has to receive the message, interpret it and chooses how to respond. Then she sends her own communication back as following.  He receives the communication, interprets it, and adjusts his lead for the next communication… and the cycle repeats over and over until the song ends. 

Many times, sketchiness comes from a lack of communication.  Rough leads and rough follows may be the result of one-way communication.  Think of excessivly aggressive leading and back leading as shouting at a partner.  When was the last time you were shouted at and you enjoyed it?  Leaders and followers that are sketchy are shouting at their partners the entire dance.  Their message is ”I don’t trust you to know what you are doing,” or “I’m taking over from here!”  They have taken the away the two-way communication of a dance partnership and taken a lot of the joy out of dancing for themselves and their partners.

What can we do to communicate better?

ZeDiamond Dance Method is a unique was to learn and teach dance.  Lots of dancers worry about their feet, the counts of the music and being wrong or their partner being wrong.  Many dancers play the blame game with their partners and leave the dance floor feeling guilty.  ZeDiamond Dance Method takes that all away.  It is way to learn how to dance where making mistakes and falling out of time makes you a better dancer. 

Many dancers concentrate on learning steps and moves.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method, the focus is on feeling the rhythm of the music and connecting with your partner.  As your mind let’s go, your body relaxes and you start to dance without thinking.  You feel the dance.  You feel your partner.  And the steps just flow through you.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, you will learn to connect with your partner, communicate with your partner through leading and following and enjoy dancing with one another.  Click here to learn how ZeDiamond Dance Method is different from traditional ways of teaching swing dancing.

You will truly see how dancing is two-way communication between partner with ZeDiamond Dance Method.  Start dancing now by ordering your own 2 DVD set of ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing.

See you out on dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

What we love about East Coast Swing…

Once you start swing dancing, it’s hard to stop.  The people are friendly.  The music is lively.  Your partner sweeps you off your feet.  You are having a ball!  Click here to see how much fun East Coast Swing dancing can be.  You are tearing up the dance floor and working up a sweat as you dance the night away.

Many beginner dancers are surprised by how athletic a night of dancing can be.  Even if you dance along to an intructional DVD at home, like ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing, your body will start to get warm and sweat.  Sweat is how your body cools down.  Sweat can be a hard thing to control out on the dance floor.  So let’s cover a few basics that will keep you out on the dance floor swing dancing all night long, while keeping you fresh as a flower.  Today’s focus will be stinky shoes.

Funky Feet

There are more sweat glands on your feet than anywhere else on your body.  These sweat glands kick in to action while we are dancing because they are trying to cool us down.  Normally the sweat would dry up, we would cool down and the bacteria on our skin would begin dying off.  Out on the dance floor, our swing shoes keep our feet moist and the bacteria keep partying.  In many cases, it is the bacteria that cause our feet and shoes to stink – not just the sweat on it’s own.

Why are my favorite swing shoes the stinkiest?

As much as I love to have new shoes… my favorites are always old shoes.  They are broken-in just right.  They have stretched to fit my foot perfectly.  I know just how much grip and slip to expect from the suede soles.  But these little shoes can clear a room in a heart beat if they aren’t taken care of.  Dance shoes stink because they have had many hours on the dance floor, collecting sweat and bacteria from feet.   After hours of dancing East Coast Swing, dance shoes are warm, wet and full of stinky bacteria.

Tips to De-Stink your dance shoes

• Air them out – It is very tempting to keep stinky shoes in a plastic bag to trap the smell.  You also trap in the bacteria and the warm and wet world they love to live in.  Once out of the range of the public nose, exposure to cool, dry air will help keep the life of bacteria down.  Porches, garages, basements and mud rooms are popular places for stinky shoes.  But keep them close to a de-humidifier or air purifier for best results.  Store dance shoes in a breathable cloth or mesh bags instead of plastic to help keep them dry.
• Wear 2 or 3 pairs of shoes - If you dance multiple days in a row, your shoes are not getting much of a chance to recover.  If your shoes do not completely dry between dance sessions, the bacteria is not dying off and will contiune to stink up your shoes.  Rotating shoes will give them more time to dry and more time for bacteria to die.  For a 2 shoe rotation think, “a pair to wear and a pair to rest.”  This gives your shoes atleast 24 hours to dry and recover.   If a full day is not enough, or you have a long day and night of dancing ahead of you, try a 3 shoe rotation.  “Wear a pair today, a fresh pair for tonight and a third pair to rest and be ready for tomorrow.”  
• Wear clean and dry socks – Wearing and changing socks is a quick and easy way to control the moisture on your feet and in your shoes.  Look for socks that wick moisture away from your feet or are made with cotton.  If you think you can smell your own shoes or you can feel that your feet are wet, a quick change of socks may keep the smell at bay.  In many cases, it is easier to wash sock than shoes.  Make sure you are always wearing a fresh and clean pair of socks… not a worn, damp or stinky pair of socks from the bottom of your shoe bag. 
• Foot powders, sprays and drops – If they work on your feet, they may work on your shoes too.  Spray or dust with powder before and after dancing.  This will help to control the moisture level and deoderize your shoes.  Tea tree oil drops will also help control fungus and bacterial growth as well as help shoes smell fresh. 
• Sneaker Balls and Dryer Sheets- These little guys are like “Stick Ups Air Fresheners” for shoes.  For about $5, you get 2 Sneaker Balls that fit easily inside your shoes, shoe bag or any other small space.  Though they don’t do anything to help dry out your shoes, Sneaker Balls will help to deoderize your stinky toe tappers once you take them off.  You can try making something similar at home.  Stuff the toe of an old sock or knee high with baking soda and add a few drops of tee tree oil.  Tie off the toe of the sock to make a ball and trim off the rest of the sock.  The baking soda will help to absorb odors and the tee tree oil keeps things smelling fresh.  Slipping a fresh dryer sheet inside your shoes may also help to deodorize them when you are not wearing them.

What can I do at home?

Many people practice dancing at home.  My husband and I can be found dancing in our kitchen from time to time.  But rather than busting out the stinky dance shoes, we have more of a sock-hop approach to dancing at home.  Keeping your feet out of your shoes will also help with the smell.  Walking around barefoot helps to keep you feet cool and dry.  It also limits the bacteria growth.  Less bacteria = less stink.

When learning to dance at home, you have the opportunity to review your technique and improve your skills.  Some like to follow along with an instructional dance DVD.  ZeDiamond Dance Method Learn the East Coast Swing is a 2 DVD set that breaks down the basics of East Coast Swing dancing in a unique way.  Dancing along with a partner, practicing ZeDiamond Dance Method, will not only help reinforce fundamentals of East Coast Swing dancing, but you will be improving your conection skills with your partner and feeling the rhythm of the music at the same time.  Click here to learn more about ZeDiamond Dance Method and its unique way of teaching dance.

On a night when you want to dance, but there is no ballroom dance or swing party to go to, slip in your ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD and sock-hop or barefoot dance in the comfort of your own home.  Near the end of the DVD 2, there is practice music you can dance along with at home.  Leave the stinky shoes to air-out another night.

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

THE STAG LINE – Where the unattached cowboys hang out together talking, planning and spinning yarn.

“The stag line hangs out by the pool tables, the popcorn machine or the video games.  The stags tote long-necked beer bottles, lean against the posts, check out the ladies and pump up their courage to actually ask someone to dance.  These cowboys equate to bachelor moose in the forest who have yet to acquire a harem.

Types commonly found on the stag line include:

• Championship Dancers - Could have won every dance contest they ever saw; planning to enter one soon.
• Don Juans - Profess to have choice of any lady in the place; know (in a Biblical sense) or know someone who has been romantically involved with anyone you point out; waiting for the “right” lady to ask out; then waiting some more.
• Great Debaters – Will argue any side of any topic; can deliver colorful, impassioned and nearly-informed oration on important matters.
• Heavyweight Champs – Weigh over 250 pounds; sincerely pledge to defend anyone whose person or honor is in jeopardy; get wet eyes from even minor expressions of gratitude; fond of calling people, “little buddy”.
• Major Leaguers – Recount sports trivia expertly; willingly review their own heroic athletic achievements; can explain precisely how to pitch no-hitters, bowl 300 games and catch fifteen pound bass; considering the Iron Man competition.
• Millionaires-In-Training - Buy drinks for buddies until the bartender delivers a pot of coffee; listen to Zig Zigler tapes; have inside tips and hot ideas; work in insurance or investment sales; will be wealthy as soon as commissions multiply.
• Race Car Drivers - Relate exciting automotive exploits; have many tickets; insurance premiums reflect their prowess; do their own mechanical work; drive Camaros with primer spots, which means any Camaro, rather than pick-up trucks.
• SBDs (Silent But Deadly) - Can flatulate on cue, with or without the finger pull; able to control smell, sound and direction, they say; journeymen can toot a reasonable facsimile of “Three Blind Mice”.

Excerpt form “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette” by Paul McClure

Why is the Stag Line important?

To be honest, that all depends on you.  If you are looking for conversation about topics other than dancing, cruising the room for your next date, or you want to try to talk someone else into buying you a drink from the bar… then the stag line is for you.  The stag line is a collection of people who enjoy the atmosphere of the dance hall, but have other social agendas – a.k.a. not there to dance.  Many of the people on the stag line have never tried to learn how to dance or have only tried briefly and had a bad experience so they quit trying to learn. 

If you have come to the dance to DANCE, then you may wish to avoid the stag line.  The stag line may offer much entertainment to you if you are taking a break to rest your feet, but no amount attention you pay them will move them closer to the dance floor.

What’s a girl to do if her partner is really on the Stag Line?

Well, part of what keeps people on the stag line is fear… fear of the unknown, fear of trying something new, fear of failure and fear of looking unattractive in front of other people.  You may have noticed that many on the stag line consider themselves “experts” in their field.  They want to be the best at something – sports trivia, reckless driving, business, or just want to be the smartest person in the room.  Well, having to admit that you do not know how to dance and going through the growing pains of beginner dancers may just be too much for their egos to handle.

If someone on the stag line is ever going to make the transition to the dance floor, they will do it only if they feel that they are in a comfortable and no-threatening place.  The ballroom party, swing dance or night club may not be the best place to get started.  Learning to dance at home may be a more suitable venue to try out those first few dance steps.

A new and innovative way to learn to dance is with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing two DVD set.  This DVD set lays all the basics for learning to swing dance in the comfort of your own living room, kitchen or den.  This is great for the person who is too shy to learn to dance in front of other people.  You can even close your blinds and curtains so you neighbors don’t even see you dancing for the first time.

ZeDiamond Dance Method is also great for someone who has tried to learn to dance in the past, but gave up because they became frustrated.  The DVD’s  make it easy to learn to East Coast Swing Dance, because you can rewind them as many times as you like, play them as often as you need to and review what you have learned just before heading out the door to the next dance party. 

East Coast Swing is a great first dance to learn.  Swing is a very universally known dance and danced many places – country bars, ballroom dances, swing parties and night clubs all play music that is approprate for East Coast Swing dancing.  Once you have this dance under your belt, you will have many opportunities to show off your new found dance skills.

I hope to see you off the stag line and out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

“The Sideline – Where folks cluster to eat, drink and be merry”

“The sideline encompasses dance hall territory where folks congregate to eat, drink and visit.  Although this turf includes dancers sitting out between dances, it also has its own special array of wildlife.

Many of these sideliners are evolving through the pre-dance phase of their development.  They are watching the dancers, observing the dress, learning the protocol and acclimating to the environment.  After a few visits and a period of observation, sideliners usually join the dance lessons.

Species you might find lurking on the sideline include:

• Cowboys – Choose to work on the look before moving to the dance, and got it right… have ready ripostes to avoid dancing should they actually get asked.
• Furballs – Conceal bald spot under an expensive hat; favor beards; wear flimsy, unbuttoned shirts; prefer shirt ripped off so their hair shoulders can be admired; ladies say they feel like warm loofahs.
• Groupies – Adore band members, or occasionally regular dancers, with obsessive intensity; rarely dance themselves; sit perfectly still staring at the band or dancers; nurse drinks.
• Lounge Lizards – Sport white shoes, assisted hair, polyester shirts and enough neck chains to compose a Mr. “T” starter kit; close personal friends with bartenders; surrounded by an alcoholic haze and cigarette smoke.
• Greenhorns- Read about dancing in the newspaper; sit alone looking dazed; suffering from a recent broken relationship… if you give them an advertising flyer about upcoming lessons, they will attend and never forget you.
• Stool Hounds – Get carded (asked for ID to prove they are of drinking age) by doorman; drink beer; wear baseball caps, T-shirts and tennis shoes; sit in groups, but very little conversation; learning the ropes of sociability; served free coffee by the end of the evening.
• Suits – In from out of town; on expense accounts; stay at airport hotels; arrive at the dance hall by taxi; remove coat and tie to look more country; may roll up shirtsleeves so French cuffs aren’t so apparent; hoping to get lucky; won’t.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette” by Paul McClure

Why are the people on the sideline so important?

Because silly, we all used to be one. 

These are the people on the edge. 

They are the ”dying to dance, but hoping nobody will ask me,” people. 

Perhaps they want to dance, but they don’t know how. 

Maybe they are beginner dancers that just need a little confidence boost.  Sometimes it takes all their courage to get in the door and there is little courage left for the dance floor.

We have all been there.  The difference between the Sideliners and Regular Dancers are the amount of miles collected in trips around the dance floor. 

We all have to get started dancing somewhere… why not here?

Though it is hard for some beginner dancers to believe, nobody has been dancing since birth.  Not a single dancer got their start in the womb.  I’ll let you know if that happens, but for now… my baby has yet to “Boom A Boom” correctly in my belly. 

Many great social swing and ballroom dancers did not start dancing until they are adults.  Not long ago, they were Sideliners too.  But they found a way to learn how to dance, stuck with it and in time became the life of the party.

One way to help you get off the sideline and on to the dance floor is to learn at home with a “Learn how to dance” DVD.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you could be up and dancing in less than 90 minutes.  Once you master the basics of rhythm, connection and a few simple dance moves in East Coast Swing, you will be out on that dance floor enjoying yourself, the music and your partner.  After that, their is no turning back.  You will have transformed from a Sideliner to a Regular Dancer and soon will be the envy of other Sideliners. 

 See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method

Once you have been dancing awhile, you can spot dancers in a crowd. 

You look for the tell-tale swing dancer signs.  Wearing dance shoes in public, carrying a shoe bag rather than a hand bag, chewing gum in time to background music, bobbing head and making miniature leading movements… these are all things that separate swing dancers from the non-dancers in a room.

But once you are at the swing dance… That’s when the people watching really starts to get fun!

Leave it to Paul McClure to classify and organize the people you will see out on the dance floor, East Coast Swing dancing or otherwise cutting a rug.

“The following field guide to couples’ dance styles covers dancers regularly encountered on the dance floor at most large dance halls.  You may want to take this guide with you dancing, much as you might take your Audubon’s Guide on a bird watching expedition, to see how many species you can spot.

• Bobbers – Nod heads up and down in time to music; rarely out of time; have gift to avoid vertigo; vague kinship to ceramic dogs riding on rear window panels.
• Danceaholics – Drip sweat; dance every dance; never leave the floor… have repertoire of line dances for emergencies.
• Doubletimers – Takes twice as many steps per beat of music as other dancers; [They] look down at floor and don’t bother with turns…
• Flat Footers – Dance well without ever appearing to move their feet; in West Coast [they] look like traffic cops directing cars up and down the street. 
• Floor Hogs- Careen around the dance floor with feet, elbows and body parts a’flying; often add excitement with unexpected stops and sudden lurches sideways; observers develop inexplicable desire to play pinball.
• Goat Ropers – [They] proceed straight down line of dance with no change in speed or line; constantly turn ladies, who get to run over and back, up and down and side to side; guys never tire; not so for partners.
• Hand Jobbers- Overflow with fancy turns from strong-armed but ambiguous leads; view dancing as a contest to see if they can catch partners with unfollowable moves; requires a steady supply of polite partners.
• Jigglers- Move entire bodies up and down on each beat of music; have good coordination as many things seem to be happening at once; compare to Bobbers whose heads only go up on the upbeat and down on the down beat.
• Pumpers – Pump hands up and down in time with footwork; extended arms drop down on man’s left step and rise on his right step; few turns since the arms are otherwise occupied.
• Skaters- Dance smoooothly; when the dancers’ feet aren’t visible, their smoothness and constant speed make them appear to be on skates; the most riveting style for spectators to watch
• Wannabe Instructors- offer constant criticism and instruction to partners while dancing, even when total strangers, especially when total strangers; pester more advanced dancers to teach them moves while social dancing in heavy traffic; feelings not easily hurt.
• Wrestlers – Concentrate on developing moves before fundamentals; able to steer wrestle any lady into any position on any foot; boosts liniment sales.

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette” by Paul McClure

Wait a minute. Could I be on that list?

Amy and Jason Barnes cutting a rug

As much fun as it is spot the above dancers and their tell-tale signs, we laugh because we see them as true… and inside each and everyone of us.  Some of the habits and signs present themselves now in a minimal fashion, but as beginners we were all brimming with them. 

It is hard to escape being a “Pumper” or a “Bobber” when you first learn the East Coast Swing.  Beginner swing dancers often resemble children acting out “I’m a little tea pot” when tipping from side to side.  Trouble with rhythm turns dancers into “Double Timers,” who speed up out of fear of falling behind or ”Flat Footers,” who have given-up on keeping in time to the music or are so worried about getting the arms right, that they stop moving their feet altogether.

Many of the these funny dance styles and habits develop because the dancer is not grounded or centered in the dance.  Other habits develop because of a lack of connection and ability to communicate with a dance partner.  There is away to learn how to dance that not only teaches you dance steps, but helps you to feel more centered, gounded and connected to your partners.  It is called ZeDiamond Dance Method.   

Learning to dance is so much more than just knowing a bunch of dance moves or dance steps. Traditional methods of teaching dance are analytical rely on teaching the mind, not the body.  With ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing DVD’s, you learn how to feel the rhythm of East Coast Swing and the music though your body.  This frees up the mind and allows you to enjoy dancing without thinking about what you are doing.  Click here to learn about the history of ZeDiamond Dance Method and how it was developed.

Deborah-Marie Diamond and Zeki Maviyildiz created ZeDiamond Dance Method because of what they saw in thier local ballroom dance community of Asheville, NC.  They saw not only beginner ballroom dancers who struggled with rhythm, but people who had been dancing for years that still struggled with rhythm as well. 

This got them thinking.  As a result, they created a new way to teach dance that taught how to feel the rhythm of the music while teaching easy to learn East Coast Swing dance steps… And ZeDiamond Dance Method was born. 

Do you think ZeDiamond Dance Method could be for you?  Click here to see if it is right for you.  You can also read what other swing and ballroom dancers have said about ZeDiamond Dance Method by clicking here.

This reformed bobber, danceaholic and jiggler (somedays more reformed than others) looks forward to seeing you out on the dance floor.

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method 

When you just can’t dance one more…

I’ve been there.  I’ve been the person hiding in the back, strangely hoping and not hoping someone asks me to dance.  I’ve been too out of breath to speak, let alone dance another one.  I’ve been stepped on, had my arm wrenched, been hit by random free arms and I am now limping my way off the dance floor… just to meet the hopeful expression of a gentleman asking me, “Want-to?”

Declining a dance request is far more than, “just say no.”  You might be tired, hurt, thirsty or just not have another East Coast Swing left in you… But if all you say to the polite request to dance is, “No,” then you suddenly have a bigger problem than just sore toes.  Proper dance etiquette can help you politely decline a dance, while helping you keep or improve your chances for future dances.

Here is Paul McClure to help guide us through what could be a sticky situation at ballroom, swing or nightclub dance.

Declining A Dance

“When asked to dance, good manners dictate you say, “Yes,” at least once, unless the requesting party has overwhelming social disabilities.  Nothing shows class like a gracious acceptance of a dance from someone who may not appear to be exactly God’s gift.  Others notice.

However, if someone asks you to dance and you choose to decline, then do so without actually saying the word, “No,” and explain why you passed up the offer.  Suggestions include:

• “Let me sit this one out to catch my breath.”
• “Give me a few more dances to get up my courage.”
• “I haven’t learned that dance yet; how about a Rain Check till next time?”
• “I want to stay on the sidelines in hopes that Billy Bob will ask me to dance.”
• “I just told Billy Bob,’No,’ so I need to sit out a couple dances in order not to hurt his feelings.”

Also, when you decline a dance offer, introduce yourself and engage the petitioner in conversation for a short while so it won’t be evident to everybody in the room that you refused to dance.”

Excerpt from “Paul McClure’s Country Dance Etiquette”

Now that I have said, “No,” now what?

This is a rule of etiquette that I feel very strongly about.

Once you have turned down a dance request, you may not accept another until the current song has ended and a new song has started! 

I know what you are thinking… “But I want to dance to this song, just not with this person.  I would rather take the chance that someone better comes along and asks me.”  Well, you can do that, if you want to be known as a “dance snob.”  Though it may be fun to toy with the idea of, “I only dance with certain people,” it will quickly leave you few and far between in the partner department. 

Typically, the most popular dancers at the party are the ones who dance with the widest variety of partners.  People notice who you dance with and who you turn down. 

If there is an honest desire to dance a particular dance or song with a certain someone, ask them for that dance early, before the song is even played.  Later, when Bubba asks you to dance to your favorite swing song, you can politely say, “I’m sorry Bubba, Billy Bob already promised me this dance.  But please ask me again later.  I do want to dance with you tonight.”  Then you can run to Billy Bob guilt free (provided Billy Bob remembered that this is your song) and Bubba is not crushed.  In fact, Bubba is hunting for a new partner, and still looking forward to dancing with you down the road. 

This rule is so universal, I have been made aware of it in my travels, not just in Asheville, NC.  I have walked over to a person in the middle of a song and started chatting with them.  Then they tell me, “I would really love to dance with you, but I have already turned someone down for this song.  Can I have the next Swing with you?”  I just think to myself, “Score! One point to the polite dancer at my side.”  But I always answer, “Yes!”

But I don’t feel comfortable dancing yet…

Never fear, in time you will become more at ease on the dance floor.  Practicing at home with ZeDiamond Dance Method DVD’s will help you on your way to becoming a more confident and accomplished dancer.  It’s simple. Start with ZeDiamond Dance Method – Learn the East Coast Swing and soon you will be ready to learn how to dance other dances.

ZeDiamond Dance Method was designed not only to help you learn how to East Coast Swing, but to help you feel the rhythm of the music and connect with your dance partners.  With a little practice, you will be enjoying the music and your partner and not worrying about your feet.  Click here to watch a short video about ZeDiamond Dance Method

See you out on the dance floor,

Amy Barnes

ZeDiamond Dance Method